The Story!

Inside a Small Motel Room, at the Crescent Palm Motel (Late, or technically early the next morning)

“At least they were nice enough to let us in at such an hour,” said Logan as he carried his materials through the door.

Thankfully, nobody had screwed with the luggage over at the visitor's center where it had been left. Sure, he'd be able to do stuff like get shirts and beach shorts from local stores, but there were also some things he would have hated to lose. Chief among them was the cooler that was given to him by the Red Ranger, featuring the vaunted 'Anger Juice'. Apparently, as long as he kept it cold, it would stay fresh and potent for a very long time. He still couldn't exactly figure out what the contents were, but anything designed to make someone angry and ready to fight would have to be pretty useful, right? This was the line of thinking that brought Logan to the point where he'd traveled crosscountry with a container full of bizarre red beverage. Thankfully, the room he'd rented in advance had a fridge, meaning he didn't need a continuous stream of ice. Speaking of that room, it was essentially your ultimate average motel room. There were a pair of beds to the left upon entering, with a tv and dresser to the right, and a bathroom across from the entrance. Super basic in design, it was a lot like the place he'd been staying in Angel Grove. This one was very different, though: it had pictures of sailboats above the beds.

“If they hadn't been up, I would have just broken into our room. I'm great at b&e!” Sonya chuckled a little, reminding both herself and her pilot buddy of how freaked out he'd been back at the shop. “Oh, two beds. Wait, two beds? Why get a two bed room instead of one? You'd get way more room.”

“I kinda hoped I might find someone to chill with. I wasn't with Shinji for that long, but it felt nice to have someone to share experiences with.” Smirking like a dog, Logan then chided, “Why, are you disappointed that we won't share the same bed?”

Deftly juking the leading question asked of her, Sonya tai-chi'd the conversation into a more suitable direction. “Shinji was your Japanese boy, right? Did you ever find out what happened to him?”

Logan's face fell, and he grimaced and said, “Kind of. As far as the public knows, Angels #4 and #5 were defeated, but there was some pretty severe damage to Tokyo-3.”

“That's what I heard,” she said in a quieter register than she had been speaking in. “Do you, you know...”

Meeting her with a solemn glare, Logan muttered equally quietly, “Do I what?”

“Do you blame yourself for taking him out of the country, or for not being back there and in the fight?” Sonya was practically whispering at this point.

So was Logan, who clenched his eyes shut, fell onto the bed closer to the restroom, and replied, “Yes to both.”

“...Fuck.” Logan could practically hear her cringing, and she quickly tried to recover. “Log', I'm sorry. I shouldn't bring that up when it's none of my business.”

Opening his eyes and trying to stop negative feelings from dominating his state, Logan looked over to the jumpsuit-wearing girl as she took off her bandanna in front of him for the first time over by her bed. “It's important to be able to talk about this sort of thing. If you're going to come with me and help with the Wonderchild, we have to be able to share everything. That means not just the physical work itself, but the responsibility of the task and the consequences of what we accomplish – and fail to accomplish. If the pair of us can't get on the same page both practically and ethically, we don't have a future together.”

“I hope that's not the case,” said Sonya with the corners of her mouth turned down. She was running her hands through her straight black hair, trying to smooth out the bandanna-hair she'd achieved over the course of the day. It actually reached her shoulders, which would have surprised Logan had he not been in such a serious mood.

“It won't be. I'm glad to have you, and I know that the Wonderchild will be able to accomplish more with both of us than with me alone.”

Lying on their sides, the two goons just smiled at each other from bed to bed. It was, for a change, a comfortable silence. Well, it was while it lasted.

“I don't feel like hitting the sack yet. Let's talk some more.” The smol one sat up on her bed, Indian style.

“Good thinking. Did you learn anything from Pearl?” Logan cracked open his drink as he asked, taking a quick sip of Vanille. It tasted more vanilla than cola, but it was definitely a familiar enough flavor profile that he was happy with it.

“Hell yeah! I got some primo nuggets'o'knowledge.”

“Throw those nuggets at me!” said Logan, lying down as he drank even though he knew that was a good way to choke himself.

“Nugget number one!” Sonya lined up sideways as if she was sitting at a pitcher's mound, and said “The Gems are aliens from outer space!” Actually, it sounded more like 'spaaaaaaaace', but just typing out ten thousand copies of a letter always feels like an inelegant way to convey vowel elongation.

“Damn!” Logan was actually a little bit floored. “They're seriously not just tripped out ladies who wear cool accessories and enjoy that whole body paint scene to make themselves seem like superheroes?”

“Nope, nugget number two is that it's the 'accessories' that they use as the source of their power. I think, anyway. Logan, I saw Pearl actually pull a spear out of her pearl! Right out of her forehead, like whoa!”

“Okay, that part has to be made up. Where would she keep it?” Logan pulled back a little physically.

“A spear, Logan! A spear with a drill on the pointy end! And she was able to stab boulders of that stone crap with them!” Sonya seemed starstruck even thinking about it.

“I don't like spears. Swords and pulse cannons are more my speed. Oh, and close range impact bracelets.” Suddenly, Logan realized that even though he'd ridden his Action Frame since the upgrade was installed, he had yet to utilize his new weapon. It would make a good surprise attack if he ran into trouble, though. Logan sort of spaced out of the conversation for a bit while he daydreamed about blast-punching things with the force of an angry bracelet. “Oh, wait!” An errant thought of actual relevance had launched itself nto his skull. “I think I saw Amethyst do something like that too. I wasn't sure what I was seeing at the time, but I think she made a net to carry rocks in.”

“A net, huh? Speaking of those rocks, did you, you know...” Sonya plastered that big old 'bad girl' grin on her face, and finished asking, “Nick anything good that might have gone flying?” Giggling, she whispered “I won't judge if you did. That eye was funky fresh.”

Looking like a deer in the headlights, Logan stated, “No.” He waited a moment, but then said “Actually, that might have been a good idea. There might have been something special, or at least a good souvenir. I didn't even once think about that angle. Smart, though.”

“How did you get by without me?”

“I'm a bona fide pro.” The 'professional' young man proudly smiled, thinking of how hard he'd worked to get where he was in life at such a young age.

“A pro bone head, maybe. If you weren't cute you wouldn't get away with the crap you do.”

“I could say the same for you. Boundaries weren't much of a thing for your parents, were they?” The ace winked, and believe it or not he actually didn't look like there was something wrong with his face as he did so.

“Nope, watch this!” Jumping out of bed, the aggressively quirky Sonya slid in between her sleeping furniture and the wall, pushing it up against his and moving the small alarm clock table in between them out of the way so they could be lined up properly. The whole process was wordless, and in the end she jumped back onto her own side of the two-bed combo. There was practically no space in between them, and suddenly the two were staring right at each other.

“Hi!” said the hefty guy cheerfully.

“Uh, hi!” The smaller one smiled back, going on to say, “This is nice!”

“You just gonna leave it this way, or?”

“Yep.”

“Well, fine – by – me.” Each word was individually emphasized as he emoted just a little smugly.

“Me too! But if you try and fuck me while I'm asleep, I'll destroy you.”

Logan softened his smirk into a genuine smile. “Give me a little credit.”

Nodding, Sonya fired, “Right, right right. I forgot you're a pixie.”

“A manic pixie dream guy.”

“Only in your mind, my very young Ambassador.” She spoke in a crappy accent, which Logan neither understood nor discerned the meaning of.

“How old do you think I am?”

“About twenty one.”

“Yep,” he admitted.

“How old do you think I am?” asked the girl as the left corner of her mouth raised into a badly-suppressed smile.

“Maybe 19? Shitty question to ask, girl.”

“I'm 28.” Sonya nodded, sipping on ginger ale/gingy ale.

This gave the younger guy significant pause. “No shit? You mean I really am the young one out of us?”

“Yeah, that's how numbers work. Good job!” She winked with one eye and then the other.

“I guess it's just that you're so young and slim. I thought you were probably around my age.” He shrugged.

“Would you like me better if I was old and fat? I can can my abuelita up and set you two on a date. Here, I have a picture of her.” A manic and silly glint taking up in her eye, Sonya reached for her phone.

“Nah, small's good. You can reach all those obnoxious places inside the Wonderchild.” Logan raised his eyes after he said this, just as the girl started groaning.

“Only if I'm not busy with other things.” The engineer threw her light brown hands into the air, throwing her head back in some attempt to look coy.

Overall, Sonya was pretty damn good at distracting Logan from the fact that he was supposed to be mad at her.

Choice Time!

Logan had to have a plan. Obviously it would be a natural thing to want to just take it easy on vacation, but he also kind of had to work. He had to make a few decisions on how he wanted to spend his time. The next day, would he:

A. Try to reestablish contact with the Gems over at their temple.  He knew he'd kind of done poorly the last time he gave that a shot, but he had to get in there.  As soon as possibly if not immediately.

Or

B. Rather instead, commit to letting any relationship with those alien beings grow naturally instead of trying to force

If the answer is B, then please check out this map and think about where Logan might like to spend time instead of trying to enter the Temple.

B and what Crow said the lighthouse thing

Current votes:

1 for A

1 for B: Funland Amusement Park

2 for B: Pose near the lighthouse

U-Stor Self Storage, Around Noon (Post-ZZZs)

Thankfully, Logan's second day in Beach City wasn't quite as red-overcast as the previous evening had been. In the light of actual day, he found the area to be quite a bit less bizarre and far more 'normal. Despite the tinyness of the actual town, he'd gotten a chance to check out the map provided at the visitor's center. It had local points of interest noted on it, and it was easy to see just how easy it was to get around. Unlike large, spread out cities like Tokyo-3 or Angel Grove, this Delmarvan town could easily be covered without even having a vehicle! That was a huge breath of fresh air for a guy who had always been driving around, trying to make it from danger to danger. Having gotten his usual morning routine done, the Ambassador had ended up on a rambling walk. It had first brought him nearby to a boardwalk-based attraction called Funland (which he vowed to visit at some point), but more to the point it ended up taking him down simple, paved streets.

That's how he'd ended up in the parking lot of a personal storage unit business, staring up at his beautiful white and gray robot. He was so captivated by how the light-colored limbs popped against the background of blue sky and white, chunky clouds that it actually took him some time to realize that it had been moved since he last saw it! He'd parked right outside of the Crescent Palms, but being the space case that he was, Logan hadn't even noticed that it was missing. Cringing as hard as it gets, the pilot swung around in circles, trying to spot anyone who might have been a possible culprit. The problem was that it didn't seem like anyone was nearby.

“Fuck me, I gotta pay more attention to this kind of thing,” groaned the ambassador, shortly before his attention was taken up by the sound of hydraulics activating. At first thinking it might be some weird new situation with his robot, he got ready to run or haul ass. Thankfully for him, the truth was much less interesting or dramatic. It was a wall-less mini-elevator, similar to but different from the ones that he'd used at NERV and the Embassy back in Tokyo-3. Furthermore, it wasn't just moving on its own, or powered by a ghost. It had his new engineer on it, and she was waving quite pleasantly as she reached ground level.

“Sup, lazy? I wondered if you might come around.” The girl offered a high five, which Logan instantly accepted because they are one of the greatest forms of communication possible. Sonya's little hand smacked together with Logan's larger one, proving to be about as crisp and loud of a high five that could be reasonably considered 'normal'.

“Someone came around while I was asleep, I see.” Logan looked back up at his wonderful robot.

“Uh, yeah. About that. It wasn't me, I swear. As far as I know, this thing was moved in the middle of the night.” Failing to display any tells that would indicate lying, the engineer just kind of shrugged.

“I assume it was whoever was meant to unload it from the Maxiliner, right?” Logan also raised his shoulders.

“Maybe it's the rest of your maintenance crew? Speaking of them, I need to chat them up if we're going to work together.. Adam wouldn't let me into the hatch, and I have a lot of questions. Like why you never wear colors that aren't gray or white.” As usual, Sony couldn't resist being a smirking goon.

“I... probably have a maintenance crew, yes. And I would surely have met them, yeah. Of course, it would be weird if I'd never encountered or spoken to the person who keeps my Action Frame in tip top shape.” Logan placed his hands in the pockets of the white-colored shorts he was wearing.

“Great. What are their names and numbers? I'ma get us together, have a crash course on what this girl needs from me.” Her dark eyebrows shot up over and over as she busted her phone out of a pocket.

“Actually, you know, I think Adam must know what's up with them, because for all I know that gang is back in Angel Grove, or Tokyo-3, or, you know, anything like that.” A drop of sweat or two formed on Logan's palms as he tried to talk his way around lying or looking like an idiot.

“Ah, okay. I'll text him. Anyway, I'm out. Gotta go do some crap to finalize leaving my old job.” The former trainwoman frowned about as hard and low as humanly possible, then said, “Be good.” and took off with a second high five.

“Alright, time to get up in there,” said Logan, rubbing his hands together in excitement as he stepped onto the elevator and activated it. As he climbed, he could see his cute friend walking out of sight. Realizing that was the case, he sang quietly to himself.

Baby, everything is alright/Uptight, out of sight

Not that she was his baby or anything: Logan just liked Stevie Wonder a lot.

Midway up the Hill

“I don't frigging want to hear it, Adam.”

“Sir, the fact remains that Ms. Ortiz lacks the security clearance necessary to be a part of your team.”

“I do not care. She's an excellent mechanic, even though she isn't from an Arms country. Don't you want the Wonderchild to be strong, Adam? The stronger it is, the stronger we are.” Logan wasn't happy, crossing the lithe and flexible mecha's arms in front of it as he approached the lighthouse up on the highest hill in Beach City. This was Steven Country, and that little boy was his prey. Far from being as filthy as the previous sentence implies, that meant he was looking to make diplomatic contact with the most human-looking member of the Crystal Gems. Aliens were strange and challenging, but a human being is something any diplomat can work with, after all.

“If she waits for proper clearance, it could be possible for her to gain access to unit W-E's systems.” The damn interface could have told him that faster, Logan thought.

“Well, please apply for that for her.” Logan sighed, wishing he didn't have to give such obvious commands to the computer.

“You have to do so, as I told you when you entered the cockpit.”

Knowing there wasn't anything to say to such a thing, Logan just shouted, “Alright, time to do work! I've been around Power Rangers, so I know a thing or two about what kind of poses kids like!”

Thankfully for Logan, he was getting very good at getting super particular movements out of his robot. Not only was he trained in its use, his in-mecha experience was mounting up by the day. As a result, he was able to bend and swing his robot's arms around like a movie martial artist! Deftly working the handles, Logan spun his arms around, bending and swinging them into position for things like fake punches, claws-out werewolf style stances, and defensive posture so awkward and weirdly positioned that it would surely have to be protecting against weird, drunken swings. Each time Logan moved from stance to stance, he held the pose for about 20 seconds. It was an easy and fun process, and the young man got into a groove. After all, there was no way to know how long it might take for the kid to notice the Wonderchild, or even if he'd be as drawn to the robot as he'd thought.

Thankfully, it was not nearly as long as it could have been, as a (compared to a mecha) small and (not compared to a mecha) chubby person approached! Instantly thankful that he'd gotten Steven's attention, Logan's joy fell straight out of him when he realized that he'd attracted the attention of someone else. It looked to be a younger guy in his mid-to-late teens, and based on the weird mop of blonde, french fry-like hair and startstruck expression, Logan guessed that it wasn't anyone of any relevance. Very annoying, really. He wanted Steven, not whoever this was.

“Hi, citizen!” Logan said on speakers, staring downward at the guy who was now taking pictures of him. He could at least try to be cheerful.

A loud gasp blasted from the teen's mouth, and he nearly dropped his phone. “Uh... Hi.”

“Are you from around here?”

“Yes! I am... a representative! Of Earth!” said the dude, adjusting his glasses and trying to look confident.

“Your Earth, huh? I guess that's probably true. I'm sort of a representative myself, actually! Ambassador Logan, United Arms.” After introducing himself, he offered his robot's giant hand for the world's most careful handshake. The fry guy gulped, but was brave enough to meet it, and together he moved his hand up and down with the giant one.

“Ronaldo Fryman, Keep Beach City Weird. My blog, which you've probably heard of, is where I keep all the crazy finds I make around town! In picture form!” The young guy's eyes lit up as he spoke, clearly proud of his endeavors. “A real giant robot is one of the weirdest things this town has ever seen, and I'm the first one to make contact with it!”

“Actually, I spoke to the Mayor when I first got here. Then I talked to Amethyst, and Pearl, and Steven, and Sadie.” Logan had to correct the obvious geek before he got weird ideas.

“Oh.” Not deflated at all, Ronaldo tried to play it 'cool' and shared, “I know two of those five people. They're some of the best our world has to offer, so hopefully you've chosen peace instead of war.”

“War was never on the table, Ronaldo.” Logan wondered where that idea came from.

“I know that!” His eyes moving around shiftily, he added, “I was just... making sure he got through. Steven's good at talking, and speeches, and helping people, and, and all those people things.”

Clearly, Ronaldo was not good at those things.

Choice Time!

>This guy knows Steven.  Maybe he could bring you to him?

>This guy knows Steven.  Try to get him to connect you two, but ditch the dweeb as soon as possible and make it just between Logan and the kid.

>Screw this French Fry idiot.  Logan didn't need his help, and would find a better way to link up with that gang just walking around in-robot.

Eastern Beach City, Lighthouse (Early afternoon)

Well, jeez. Logan saw a clear path before him to satisfy the goal he had. It was a bright and shining, golden goal made out of relative ease and absolute nonviolence. The problem was that it required dealing with this french fry person, and he was sure that if he had to actually have an extended conversation with him, he'd quickly learn to dislike the teen. Since he would much rather keep his feelings toward BC and its citizens entirely positive, he briefly considered just asking to be introduced and then pushing Ronaldo out of the interaction quite quickly. The problem he saw with such a decision was that it would be mean, and since Steven was apparently a superhero much like the ones he'd met in California, he could be turned off by that kind of behavior.

“It's kind of my job to be good at those 'people things', too.” Trying his best to drench his voice in unfiltered positivity and lack of judgment, Logan did his job the best he could, bracing himself. “Actually, I'd love to have a chat with that kid. Shall we take a walk down the hill and around the bend, and see if he's at home? I bet he loves robots, and everyone at the Big Donut and the T-Shirt shop will see what cool guys we are!”

Ronaldo stared up at the Wonderchild like his jaw had lost its ability to close, his eyes had just been pried open by being told told a second Christmas was being added to the calendar. His head shook 'yes' so hard, Logan though the poor kid's neck would break. “Can we go past Fish Stew Pizza too?”

“Yes.” Logan agreed to placate the youth, despite his personal thought that 'Fish Stew Pizza' sounded like the absolute worst combination in history. Wanting to just get the experience over with, he started a slow descent down the grass-covered hill, making sure to operate slowly enough that the civilian could keep pace.

Young Fryman got the idea, and did his best to avoid falling behind the W-E as they made their way down the preordained path. “While we walk, I'll tell you all about my blog!”

“May as well.” Even though Logan's answer wasn't enthusiastic, he had a strong feeling that he'd made a misplay.

“Actually, I say blog but it's a little bit more of a blog-vlog-Tube channel-social-media-empire combo. Basically I post anything and everything I can get my hands on that shows just how weird Beach City is! Like just last night, I found these rocks. You may be thinking, 'Rocks, Ronaldo? What's weird about rocks?' Well, as you can see from this picture, they're both uniquely beautiful, and appear to consist of both carved surfaces as well as rougher, broken ends. I believe these rocks are meteors that fell from an as-yet-undocumented phenomenon! Anyway, more about Keep Beach City Weird. I like to, you know, keep it casual when I'm typing out my posts, both because I post from my phone a lot and have to keep it brief, but also because I hear it's important to keep people's attention. So many possible readers have extremely brief attention spans, to the point where anything longer than a hundred and forty characters will send them to snoozeville! Basically, I have to maintain this kind of drooling baboon idiot while also keeping the visual content stimulating enough to entice smarter minds. That's my real goal in the long term, to provide the kind of environment on my comment threads that will be a real hangout for the, I don't know, I guess you could call them the egghead crowd. Intellectuals, pseudointellectuals, psuedoscientists and of course theorists. That's what I am when you get down to it, since Keep Beach City Weird has tons of my theory posts. Sometimes I just post weird and cryptic messages and pictures, but it's way more fun when I get to share my opinions and interpret the facts. Speaking of facts, do you know about the Snake People? Oh man, I gotta tell you about that, it has huge impact on the political reality of the world you're in a piece of. But first, that actually reminds me. One time I saw the boardwalk filled to the tops of its buildings with little capsule packaged toys, only for them to disappear when I went to snap a picture on my phone! No, trust me, it was a real thing that I actually saw, and I wish I could prove it to you. It sounds dishonest, yeah, a little. Don't worry though, I'm a really credible guy and you don't need to like, vet anything or question the stuff I say. I would never lie, because I'm honest! And a really nice guy to boot! The only problem is that I don't actually have any official security clearances, so I think some of the stuff I know is actually dangerous to my life! Hopefully I'll be able to work with a foreign power like a high-profile infomeister, and they'll offer my asylum and security clearance and all that stuff. You know, you said you work for the UA, maybe you could get me connected? I don't know much about them but I obviously know they have giant robots, making them objectively cooler than the government where I'm from. They're infested with Snakes, so it's kind of a drag. Earlier my brother asked me why I don't plan a trip out of Beach City to find weird stuff in the new world we live in, but I'm really not convinced. Beach City alone always has crazy things going on, so why go there when all the weird comes to me? Like you! Who knew that things would suddenly get really good just because I had the guts to walk nearby to a giant armed mecha?! I don't know if I have to say it, but that's really weird! Since I'm a purveyor of the strange- no, don't worry, we're not gonna talk to them, just try and look cool since they're like, popular and hot. And we're not gonna order any pizza, just kinda stroll past it all. Oh, right, that reminds me, one time Steven came around with an invisible lion! I was just eating pizza and washing it down with some tasty cola, while typing out my latest blog post, but suddenly he ran in, talking about someone being pregnant! I was sure it was him, but I guess either he miscarried or had an abortion or I just heard wrong. Anyway, he invited us to take a look at his new pet lion, but when I got outside, I couldn't see anything! Obviously, it had activated its invisibility cloak, warping visual light around it and making it the ultimate stealth combat fighter! I wrote some theories on the metaphysical implications of an apex predator that nobody can see, but I won't go through that since you should really read the blog, and I don't want to spoil it. My conclusions were great, though! I just know that one of these days, one of my articles will go viral and then a ton of people will read Kay-Bee-See-Doubleyoo. That's how I abbreviate it, since it wouldn't be good writing to just keep typing out Keep Beach City Weird each time. Now, a lot of my posts are in mini-article format, but like I said I also produce a lot of video-log content. Most of that sticks to the semi-daily, roughly ten minute tube format that everyone uses now that the algorithm gives more money and promotes videos that fit the pattern. I personally am very against it, just as I am with all clickbait and attempts to replace content with sneakiness. Sometimes I do use that in my titles, the clickbait that is. Like this one video I put out a little before the Eruption that changed everything: 'Top 5 weirdest people in Beach City! You'll never BELIEVE who numbers 1, 4, 3, 5 and 2 are!' That one got... Double the usual rate of viewers! It's some of the work I'm proudest of, so I highly recommend checking that one out too! You can get really woke if you read enough of my stuff, you know! A heavily armed diplomat like you might need to know these things! It could actually save your life! That's the real reason I do what I do, not for f-ame, or recog-nition, or friends, or mo-ney, or anything that most people crave. No, I walk my own path, as lonesome as it may be, out of a sense of duty! If I don't inform the public about all this weirdness, it might go unnoticed until it's too late! Some would say that's already the case! The other day, I found proof positive that-”

Logan shouted through the Wonderchild's speakers with the volume on fairly low. He had to – letting this fool continue to talk wasn't an option. “Steven! Please come out! Your buddy Ronaldo and I would like to chat!” Not only had they managed to walk down the hill, one of the main streets, over towards Funland Arcade, onto the boardwalk and past Fish Stew Pizza (around which were grouped a trio of young adults that Logan had been told to ignore), and finally onto the beach and around to Steven's house's ramp. He was ready to get out of his vehicle, but he wasn't about to do so if the kid was out and about somewhere. Calling out to the inside would have to be the solution he needed, because if he had to wait for Ronaldo to let him talk, he would have a nervous breakdown.

“Coming!” Soon after the pleasant boy's voice lilted out of the small beach house, the Wonderchild's cameras were greeted with a view of chubby but adorable little Steven Universe! As he had been the previous evening, the kid was wearing a muted pink shirt with a bright yellow five-pointed star on front along with some jeans. Most noticable of all, though, was his cute little curly hair. Just looking at the kid, Logan had wonderful thoughts of nurturing and wanting to be kind to the little one. It was a complete 180 degree difference from how he felt about the strange, creepy and illogical Ronaldo. “Oh, the robot! Amethyst told me you came around! You're the guy Logan from the beach! The one she said was a cute stud! Nice to meet up in the daylight!”

“Likewise, Mr. Universe!” Logan gave a robotic thumbs up to the little guy.

“Huhuh. That's my dad! Can I offer you some tea?” He smiled brightly, gesturing as if to invite the Ambassador in.

“I actually don't drink tea. It has all these harmful-”

“Ronaldo, I think the polite thing to do is to be a gracious guest and accept.”

“But-”

“Anyway, I'll be right in. Gotta park my robot and climb out, ok?” Logan breathed a sigh of relief, having dealt with the awkward part. Now he could just kind of cut the blogster off when it suited him since he had someone far more reasonable and useful, and less crap to talk to. In fact, just being around the lighthearted little guy had improved his previously plummeting mood.

“Kay! What kind of tea would you like?”

“I don't d-”

“What kinds have you got on stock?”

“Pearl said she needs to replenish our supply, so we only have four kinds right now. We have Ice Shard, Maple Strawberry Cinnamon, Blue Electric Zox, and Chamomile. They're all fun!” Steven shrugged and smiled.

Choice Time!

>Ice Shard?  What the heck is that?  Sounds intriguing and mysterious.  And good.

>Maple Strawberry?  In tea?  Sounds odd.  And good.

>Blue Electric Zox?  The hell is a Zox?  And does that literally mean electric?

>Chamomile.  Logan is a boring person.

So far, there is a single vote each for Ice Shard, Maple Strawberry, and Blue Electric Zox.

Inside the Little Beach House (After Parking)

Having positioned the W-E out on the beach, Logan hoped the fact that he left Adam running would be enough to stop his robot from being tampered with covertly. That said, of all the places that he'd been to, Beach City seemed to be the safest and least threatening by a long shot. He couldn't even really imagine much, if any crime actually happening there. With such a small population, anyone who got into serious subterfuge, thievery or sabotage would be a little bit obvious. Heck, maybe the Gems themselves would show off what they could do if it ended up being enough of a problem. If they had things like the Laser Light Cannon, what else might be up their extraterrestrial sleeves?

Well, board games for one. As Logan stepped through the open screen door, he took in the scene. Contrary to what he'd expected of 'The Temple', it seemed that Steven lived in a very normal (if small) beach home with an open floor plan. With stairs to a small elevated area to the left, a kitchen with an island table to the right, and a living room with a simple coffee table and couch present right when he walked in, the pilot was impressed. It was the kind of place he'd love to live in, but one thing differed from his image of a beach bum build. Well, actually two. Or more. Directly across from the door was a glistening circular pad, about the size of a small fountain. Actually, as Logan paid more attention to it, he realize that it was actually the centerpiece of another small room attached to the main section of the house. Contrary to the simple wood construction and modest design of the house itself, the pad was surrounded by dramatic carved stone, and even walls made variably of either a simple dark stone, and sparkling purple-pinkish crystal. The effect on the overall design was one of two very different lives connected, and it made Logan feel like these alien beings might be the kind he could easily work with.

Of course, the most important part of the beach home was little Steven himself, and the boy had diligently prepared three cups of tea. They weren't exactly fine china, rather bulky mugs worth, and it seemed like he'd brewed up something pretty special. Even the reluctant Ronaldo seemed to have calmed down, and taken a seat on the couch across from the kitchen.

“Okay, this tea is on me! Except that I hope it isn't. Fingers crossed!” The chubby boy winked and carried all three vessels inelegantly the few steps over to the couch. Logan had taken a seat there as well, figuring that it would be a fine place to rap. Thankfully, no drops were spilled, and soon there were three cups on the sturdy looking coffee table. Gesturing to each in turn, Steven said, “We've got maple strawberry for me, chamomomomomomile for Ronaldo, and...” The kid covered his mouth with his hand before whispering dramatically. “...Blue Electric Zox. Logan, you really like to live on the wild side! Well, welcome to our home guys! Let's drink up!” He lifted his delicious looking red drink upwards for a toast, as did the french fry teen.

This was the diplomat's first chance to actually examine the drink he'd ordered blindly and without any context. It was... Logan glared at it, trying to assess the depths. It was... He lifted the beverage up very carefully by the cup's handle, attempting to discern if he could actually even see past the top. It was, uh... Well, it was blue. Shockingly blue. Unbelievably blue. Logan had seen things like blue kool-aid and blue snow cones before, but when it came to tea, this bizarre shade of incredibly bright and totally opaque blue could not have possibly come from any sort of leaves he was aware of. Moreover, when he smelled it, that is, lifted it to his face and really got a whiff of the Zox up his nostrils, he couldn't help but notice the inescapable scent of batteries. “Is this even tea?” was what the pilot asked himself inwardly, but he knew that question wouldn't seem very tactful.

Instead, he just said, “To making new friends!”, clinked mugs with the other two members of this meeting of the chubbyish dudes, and took a sip of Blue Electric Zox.

It was absolutely delicious! While flavors are largely a subjective experience, it's safe to say that the overload of fruity goodness that hit Logan's tongue when he sipped from his mug was both strange and beautiful. Familiar sensations, like sucking on the most delicious citrus combined with the rush of firing the W-E's Triad Cannon all hit Logan at the same time, and he couldn't help but totally perk up in his seat! The still-opaque liquid was not only tangy, it was more than a little sour! Still, it had a cool sensation on his tongue, and a Japanese word that he'd learned during his time there came to mind: 'ao'. It was used to describe the color spectrum from blue to green, and the Zox had the strangest impact on his tongue - almost like synesthesia. It seemed that he could practically taste those sections of visible light! The young adult was frankly amazed by every moment of these sensations, and without even paying attention to how Steven and Ronaldo were reacting to theirs, he drank deeply from his mug, sipping more than he had the first time. Once again, the minty cool tang of ao hit him, but even stronger. It was a lovely feeling, and as he drank it began to work its way down his esophagus, cooling him to the core. It wasn't unpleasant at all, rather very delightful.

“Sho good,” muttered Logan, who upon hearing himself realized that his tongue had gone a little numb. He instantly felt self conscious at having slurred, but quickly realized the cause. His tongue had been coated with a light crackling, as if a bunch of tiny pop rock-style lightning bolts were going off in his own mouth!

“Yesh, it ish!” Shteven started chuckling like a goon, and shipped deeply of his own mug. “Maple Shtrawberry ish too!” As he shpoke and laughed, the kid's breath was vishible, much like on a shuper cold day. Shteven's, however, was pink. How bizarre!

“Whoa...” Said Logan, as he started laughing equally hard. It wasn't some intoxicant, just a serious and tripped out tea.

Ronaldo just sort of sipped chamomile and stared back and forth between the other youthful men. He fiddled with his red button down shirt and glasses, clearly not exactly sure what to say. He didn't have special tea with weird effects, after all, which was kind of a shame for someone who was apparently into 'weird' paranormal things. Poor guy.

“Okay, Steven. I admit, I didn't just come here for tea and a visit. Let's rap, man.” Logan decided to take it easy on the sips, since despite the Blue Electric Zox proving to be totally delicious, he knew he couldn't hold a respectable conversation and act as a good ambassador if the culinary equivalent of static cling was numbing his tongue.

Naturally, the boy was quite happy at what had been suggested, but his joy brought yet another stunning moment for the UA's man. Steven U's previously normal brown eyes literally shapeshifted right in front of Logan's eyes, quickly transforming into a form that the pilot would have sworn was some kind of a trick The irises and pupils formed the shape of an honest-to-bob star! Yes, right within the front-center of his previously-normal brown eyes, there was a big five-pointed star like the one on his chest, composed of what seemed like normal eye-white. It was a freakish look, and the greyhead nearly spilled his tea as he saw it. However, just as soon they'd gone back to normal, and Steven shouted, “Okay, let's rap!” Standing up, he started to do so!

Oh~ he's a frozen treat with an all-new taste
'Cause he came to this planet from ou-ter space!
A refugee from an interstellar war,
but now he's at your local grocery store!
Cookie Cat!
He's a pet for your tummy!
Cookie Cat!
He's super duper yummy!
Cookie Cat!
He left his family behind!
Cookie Cat!
…..now available at Bergen's off Route 109.

Having finished his beatless snack-based rap jingle, the tubby lil smol sat down and took his mug back in hand. “Your turn, Ronaldo!”

Smiling widely for the first time in a while, Ronaldo replied, “Sure! Well-”

“Steven, what happened to your eyes?!” Logan was far, far more interested in what he'd seen than the commercial song he'd politely listened to.

“Huh? Oh, this?” The kid did it again, switching back and forth a couple times. “It's no big deal. I just shapeshift sometimes. We gems tend to like to transform for fun, except I don't think Pearl ever does it. There are lots of fun things she doesn't do, but I love her, so it's okay.” The innocent gemchild said all of this without a hint of self-consciousness or awareness of just how special his ability was.

“Wow. I've actually never met anyone that can do that, and I've run into a bunch of weird and eccentric powers already. It's really something all four of you can do?” Logan was taking mental notes, trying to absorb as much knowledge as he possibly could. Oh, that was probably what the purple girl, Amethyst, had meant about it possibly not looking like her if they met up.

“Yeah, but Garnet says if I stay shapeshifted for too long, I'll stay that way.” He looked pretty dismayed at this fact, staring at the ground.

“Yes, but! What if she just tells you that kind of thing to stop you from reaching your full potential?” Ronaldo asked this, and swallowed a large amount of tea before slamming the mug down on its coaster. “Sorry,” he whispered, as it made quite a clang even against cork.

“Do you think that's true?! Why would Garnet lie? She wouldn't, right?” Steven looked even more upset at this possibility.

“I... don't know her.” Logan had no clue whether this theory was correct, or whether they were going down the wrong street.

“Steven, you have to know why she would lie. Isn't it so obvious?” Ron gestured to Logan. “You see what I mean, right?”

“No. No I don't.” No, no Logan did not know what was meant.

“Ugh... Guys, you need to get 'woke'! Haven't you noticed what all three of the Crystal Gems have in common?”

“They have superpowers?” Logan guessed.

“No. There are a ton of other people with superpowers, like psychics, mediums and oracles.”

“They have big gems on their bodies?” Steven supposed.

“No. Pearls aren't even gems.” Well, that was true enough.

“They're all good people, even though they aren't human?” Logan hoped with his whole heart that this was the case, and that he didn't have to become enemies with space aliens in addition to interdimensional aliens.

“That remains to be seen. No guys, it's so! Simple! Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are all women! Isn't that suspicious to you?” Ronaldo looked cheesed off. Like cheesy fries.

“No? Steven, you're like them too, right? But you're all man, from what I've seen.”

“Yup! I'm a supa stud!” SU held up his arm, and his tiny kid bicep quickly expanded. The skin was first to bulk up, followed by something or other filling it in and making it look like the arm of a well-developed bodybuilder. It lasted for about a moment before deflating comically. Logan noted that such actions would take some time to stop seeming odd and slightly off-putting.

“That's what I'm saying! Steven's one of them, but he isn't really one of... them. It could be that they're trying to hold Steven back from his full potential as the greatest one of them. Because of... You know.” This fryguy was really starting to creep out Logan, who wasn't following at all. When both he and their pleasant, beach-living host gave confused looks, he actually shouted. “Because he's a guy! I'm saying that they're holding Steven back because they're women!”

Oh boy. Upon the preceding words leaving Ron's mouth, Logan cringed with such intensity that it practically hurt. Exactly as he predicted, the suggestion confused and upset the gemboy. “No way! Why?! Why would they do that?” He looked as if he might burst into tears at any moment, with his bottom lip curled over in a superfrown.

Ronaldo sighed, as if he were annoyed that Steve didn't get the obvious concept. “Because they hate men, Steven. They exist in a matriarchal society that, according to my theory, must have massacred all of their males at some point in the past after developing technology to reproduce! I actually wrote a blog post about this very subject!”

Choice Time!

>”I think it's time to leave, Ronaldo.  You're upsetting Steven.”  Logan wasn't having any of these baseless and frankly sexist accusations.  He'd only known this group for a short time, but he found the entire line of reasoning quite questionable already.  If he was going to have any kind of productive conversation about Steven's family and their overall role going forward, he had to rectify the mistake of bringing this jerk.

>Ronaldo's ideas were interesting.  Could it be true?  Logan didn't really have experience with these gayliens.  I just thought of that combined word btw, and it makes me giggle.  Immature, I know.  Anyway, he was kind of interested in pushing powers to their limits in general.  Peace through superior firewpower was the UA way, and shapeshifting was definitely firepower.

>Logan stood up, slugged Ronny Boy in his (considerably large) gut, and stood back down to sip on more Zox.  That should shut him up so he could get down to business actually talking to the curly haired ball of love.