The Story!

On the Streets

Ouch. This was a little bit of an awkward situation. Yes, Amethyst was nice, and yes Logan found her attractive. But he wasn't down to just have sex with her like that. Heck, he hadn't really even actually spent time hanging out with her like he had planned to. Biting his lip as he considered his options, the pilot tried to think up a good evasive pattern to navigate his way out without bruising any egos. Despite being able to come up with metric tons of ways to fight inside a giant robot, he could only see one clear path: be nice and just say no. What's the worst that could happen? Besides alienating aliens, which would be a horrendous outcome since he already had space problems back on the west coast. Logan stopped wasting time, since he knew the longer it took the weirder he would seem.

“Amy, I don't think that would be a good idea. I've got to like, get back to my hotel and rest, and you know, Sonya will be coming there too...” Logan gulped. It wasn't coming out like he'd expected it to.

“Uh, okay. If she'll be there, just come back to the temple with me. Unless she's a lil freaky like that.” Amethyst closed her sight-orbs partially, performing the gesture known as 'bedroom eyes'. It would have been enticing in another context, but at the moment it just made Logan feel bad.

“I mean, the temple is cool. I've been wanting to see what's past the big door, but I just don't know about the, uh... The getting physical thing. With you.” Logan cringed, and a few drops of rain begun falling from the cloudy night sky.

Flatly staring, the purple gem asked, “Uh, what? Dude, I saw you staring while I was Purple Puma. It's like your eyes were laser focused on every part of my body. Are you only into men or something?” She tilted her head to the side as she dried to figure out what was up.

“No, not only guys! I like women a lot too, and you're hot just the way you are, but, it's just... Nah. I hope that's okay.” H2O began pouring down in greater quantities, and Logan wondered if he'd already bungled a potential alliance.

Pouring her cloak back up over her head, she said, “Eh, I ain't gonna force ya. Guess I'll see ya around.” Despite the darkness of the evening, he could tell she looked a little dejected. Well, rejected was more like it. She didn't even wait for an answer before heading back down the street she'd come from.

Not wanting to watch her walk away and remind himself of what he was missing out on, Logan just muttered, “Shit on me,” and made his way to his temporary home in the rain.

Crescent Rainy Palms, Room 2

“No, I haven't gotten to try it yet. Will it still be good if I've kept it super cold?” Logan sent this message to Jason Lee Scott, who was asking if the patented 'Anger Juice' had been quaffed yet. It was kind of nice to hear from a Power Ranger, even if he wasn't very high up on the totem pole compared to Kimberly or Billy. Or Trini, whose mature charm had earned her plenty of respect. Or heck, Zack, who was becoming one of their best pilots when he left. “Actually,” Logan noted, “That's all of them. Maybe if he was a little bit smarter, or better at the robot fighting, he would rank higher.” Wait, did the Power Rangers even have actual ranks, or did Kim just declare herself the best because she was their top pilot? Logan may never know.

An erratic and loud knock put an end to the silence that he'd been lying in, and Logan quickly stood up and opened the door without even thinking to check through the door viewer. Standing in the frame, soaking wet and carrying what looked to be the soggiest pizza box in history, Sonya looked like hell. Sighing and stepping through the entrance without speaking, she placed her cargo atop the desk that sat next to their room's television, and just sort of faced the wall without even greeting her new roommate. What worried Logan was that she was giving no hints as to the origin of her change in demeanor.

“You okay?” he asked, walking quite near to her and trying to get her to turn toward him.

This was successful, leaving her looking up at her taller friend. “Yeah. I just fucked up...” She said. “Our food got rained on.”

Feeling relieved that it wasn't anything worse, he blurted out, “I'll totally eat soggy pizza! Don't even worry about that! You're hardly responsible for the rain-”

“Screw that, I am responsible!” The older woman ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to get it to a state of presentability, but it was pretty soaked. Even her naturally straight black locks were a bit of a mess, but Logan hardly noticed. “I should have noticed that there were rain clouds brewing, but I was too busy dawdling and thinking about stupid crap.”

“Do you think I don't think about stupid crap?” The guy who'd missed the brunt of the still-running storm offered a weak smile to try to make her feel better.

“This was really damn stupid. I was sitting on the edge of the boardwalk thinking about how you looked at Purple Puma.” Sonya failed to meet Logan's gaze.

“You mean Amethyst? Did you know that's her?” Hey, he needed to tell someone his big 'revelation'.

“Yes, I know that's her. And you were looking at her like you wanted to worship every inch of her body. I mean, the body she was using, with all those muscles. Everywhere...” Her face looked like it was starting to clam up from the cold of the rain and the relative skimpiness of the clothes she was wearing in comparison to her work outfits.

He hadn't lied yet that night, and he wasn't about to. “I did kind of lose it when I saw her.” He had no defense, and anything he came up past sounded like an excuse for a behavior that didn't really need one.

The cute-but-frazzled girl looked up into Logan's eyes, and assured, “I'm not usually a jealous bitch that gets upset over stuff like that. I just noticed that you never looked at me the way you did him, or her, or whatever she is.” There was the other shoe.

Logan collected his thoughts for a moment in silence, and looked her up and down momentarily. Her black tanktop and shorts were sticking to her slender frame, and he was ready to take an extreme measure for a change. “Your clothes are sopping. They'll give you a chill.” Without waiting for an answer, he wrapped his hands around her waist, and began to peel her top upwards. The pace he took was quick enough both to tease, as well as to confirm that Sonya wasn't against what he was doing. As inch after inch of fabric was lifted off her body, Logan realized two things: she wasn't wearing a bra under her top, and her light brown skin was just about the richest, sexiest color he'd seen in his life.

Beach City Funland, 2 Weeks After

“Stick to your blog, Ronaldo.” Logan rolled his eyes as he and Sonya walked out of the exit path of the ferris wheel and past his dumb ass, who was hawking some kind of pamphlet that he'd printed out.

“Screw you, Logan! I'm right about the Gems, just like I'm right about the United Arms! I know all about your garbage now, buddy! You hear me, you damn globalist oppressor?!” The teen shouted impotently at a guy who could barely hear him as he walked away.

“I'm pretty sure 'globalist' means 'Jew' in their language,” said Sonya as she held onto the pilot's arm tightly. “That ride was a lot of fun, though.”

“Yeah it was! Should we go on another one?” Logan asked, happy to be enjoying his work-cation.

“If you want! I'm flexible.” The smoller one of the pair offered a sly smile.

Choice Time!

>Oh yeah.  It is time for a run on the Montana, the sickest coaster in Beach City!  Let's get some action!

>Yeah, let's have a ride around the flying teacups and spin until we're ill!

>Heck yes, let's fight in bumper cars and get whiplash!

>God no, I fucking hate amusement parks.

Someone from Gfaqs.

I honestly felt like I had a question, but forgot what I wanted to ask. Oh well, probs not important.

Sure bumper cars sound like fun.

I know! Who would've guessed Ammy was Purple Puma! ...Oh, God, what if Onion-Boy is Tiger Millionaire!?

Huh, they had sex? I passed it off as a possibility, but it's actually true.

Beach City Funland

“We should hit those bumper cars before we head out. Believe it or not, it's a fact that nobody on the planet can crash into more cars than a mecha pilot.” Logan spoke matter of factly, as if he was delivering a common truth.

“Some would say crashing into things is the opposite of what a skilled pilot needs to do,” said the engineer to her co-worker. “Sounds like I've gotten lucky that I haven't had to work repairs on your boy, yet.”

“Hey, I never actually crash into things! You're talking to the UA's top ace, you know! I put in work!” Logan sounded a little indignant. He did some basic drills and training in his robot at least a few times a week, even when there were no disasters.

“Yeah, I know.” Sonya grinned and rolled her eyes as they walked, enjoying the sounds of the rides and games. The mingling smells of salt air and unhealthy boardwalk food layered on top of the whole experience, and it was all just too sweet.

“Do you wish to engage in combat?” asked a familiar but off-sounding voice from somewhere in the near distance. It was difficult to pinpoint the exact source thanks to the sensory cornucopia that was the amusement park they were in.

“Who's challenging people to duels?” Logan's senior lover glanced around, grasping her arm around him protectively. It was actually such a grip that it hurt him a little.

“Ignore that, it's nothing we need to be concerned with.” Logan exhaled deeply, trying to put challenges and fights and all things negative out of his life for as long as he possibly could. “Do not be distracted by the beautiful duelists, just get on this ride with me and kill the Malaysian Prime Minister!”

“Really making me feel great about showing you that movie,” spouted the semi-obnoxious one as they flashed their all-day wristbands, passing through the turnstile.

The pair of mecha appreciators took their time stepping onto the bumper-floor, sizing up each vehicle as if they were selecting their ultimate weapon. As for the ride itself, it consisted of a classic style smooth platform floor with an open layout and conductive ceiling bits designed to provide power through the cars' rear-mounted poles. “You're so screwed,” whispered the young man into the ear of the gal he was staying with.

“You're gonna be hit so many times, it'll be stupid,” threatened Sonya as she nodded in approval at an awesome car painted orange.

“You're stupid,” replied Logan immaturely. After all, this was balls to the wall style, 100% pure classic dodgems style bumper cars, demolition derby style! There weren't even any annoying signs saying 'no head on collisions!' or rails to encourage people to drive in a single unified direction. That was just how Logan had hoped it would be, of course. Who would want to ride those things if there was no risk of breaking one's crazy neck?

“So are you- Oh snap!” The engineer spotted someone familiar to her stepping into a bright pink dodgem car, and she ran over to greet them. “Hey Stevie! Is this the famous Connie?” She greeted the tubby kid with a smothering hug, and extended her hand to the bespectacled girl that Steven was sitting in the car with.

Both were accepted, but the younger lady greeted the elder quite politely. “Yes, that's me! Connie Maheswaran, nice to meet you.” Her skin was darker than Sonya's, and she was taller than Steven, which overall led to a fantastic image of maturity, as if she was there to take care of her Gem-Human pal.

“Sonya Ortiz, and that's Logan!” The Latina lady pointed at the foolish goon who had jumped into the orange car out of spite and a mocking desire to take the things Sonya liked.

“Nice to meet you too!” Connie yelled from across the ride floor. “Logan what, if I may ask?”

“Logan nothing! And I know all about you, Con'! Steven talks about you all the time – always coming out of his mouth are things like 'Connie's the smartest girl in the world' or 'You gotta meet Connie when she's around next time', or 'Connie's so pretty, I think I have a crush on her'!” The last one he made up, feeling in an immature mood thanks to the atmosphere of the park and wanting to cause trouble.

As Logan said the last few words, Steven and his little friend's faces turned cherry red, and he sort of glanced away shyly. It was almost like he was trying to shrink into his half of the vehicle's seat, but Connie didn't seem as bothered by what she heard as he was. At the very least, she was taking the wheel. As some tourist from across the ride yelled “Hey lady, get in a damn car!”, Sonya seemed to realize she was holding up the whole works, and begrudgingly ended up hopping into a yellow dodgem as fast as she could.

“3... 2... 1... GO!” shouted a prerecorded voice with prerecorded enthusiasm that convinced absolutely nobody. However, no hype was needed! Everyone knows the sheer old-school madness of a true instance of classic bumper cars, and every single rider was ready to dole out car-bashes! Naturally, the rolling-out of the vehicles was accompanied by some, uh, light music. It went a little something like this:

Cut-in:

It was loud, and it as as bland as generic aggressive music gets. Disregarding the music, Logan grasped his wheel with a white-knuckle grip and put the pedal to the metal! He had one target and one target alone: Sonya Ortiz, and he sent the orange car towards her yellowmobile like a rocket! Of course, she saw him coming, and, after briefly getting bashed by some nameless visitor to Beach City, the skinny one met Mr. Orange in a head-on collision! The vehicles made a satisfying smash as they connected, and both parties involved ended up lurching forward from the impact. Logan not only cracked up at how the session had started, he also heard Ms. Yellow busting a gut. It was good times, but that was just the beginning! Like a real tool, he started reversing slightly, only to smash back into Sonya's car! It was pretty annoying for her, but thankfully this wasn't enough to pin her down, as she rocketed over towards the other half of the bumper zone.

The Ambassador would have loved to chase his prey, but he ended up getting smashed into by both a tourist, and the pair of two cute kids! Steven had only smashed into him slightly as he controlled the wheel, but the young Indian girl had absolutely no mercy in store, and no sympathy hiding behind her glasses. Under her control, the pink car smashed into the side of the orange one, sending Logan completely off course. With lights flashing around the ceiling, and hitting a disco ball, the simple amusement park ride had turned into a warzone, and Logan was loving it! Finally, he and the little ones ended up adjacent to one another, bumping side to side as if they were crazed drivers (not bumper-car drivers, those are always nuts, more like actual lunatic drivers trying to murder one another on the highway). This generally wouldn't be a problem, but a tiny blond-haired child wearing a blue sweater as a cape was running around on the ride territory without any kind of car! Wasn't it electrified? Was that even remotely safe?

“Ahh, Onion!” yelled Steven U, as he took the wheel and continued to try forcing Logan off the road.

“Where?!” Logan loved onions! Especially on pizza, or with steak!

“Turn, or we'll hit him!” yelled Connie, looking concerned if the brief glance Logan took at them was accurate.

“Hit the kid, or the onion?”

“Onion!”

“Where?!”

The answer was apparently 'in Logan's car, as thee miniature child with pale skin and a single large tuft of golden hair literally jumped straight into the air and onto his dodgem! “You're dumb and I'm taking the wheel.” said the child apparently named 'Onion', before jumping on Logan's lap and taking control of the steering wheel.

“Hey, kid! I'm the driver on this thing! I got plans for this ride!” said the pilot-turned-passenger.

“Deal with it.” was all that was said, as he did his best to smack away Logan's hand when he tried to take the wheel back. Of course, it wasn't as if Onion was just a passive or cautious driver. Oh no, he was as brutal of a bumperman as anyone had ever seen, and he slammed into several cars filled with average travelers. Since he was doing a good enough job, Logan was willing to let the boy have his fun, and just watched the carnage! It's always a pleasure to see a true professional plying their craft, after all.

Well, at least until your annoying love interest rear ends the crap out of you, and keeps doing it over and over. “I'm back!” shrieked Sonya as she gleefully murdered Logan and Onion's necks with repeated crashes.

“Get her!” yelled Logan to his new driver.

“Nah, I'll let her get you," implied Onion as he whipped Logan's orange bumper car into barricade surrounding the arena. Naturally, it didn't break through, but it made a heck of an impact, and gave Sonya the perfect opportunity! Using her built up momentum and positioning advantage, she started smashing him towards the corner! Anyone who's had a bad bumper-cars experience knows that's the worst place you could be!

“Haha! You're screwed six ways from Sunday!” Sonya had a wide-eyed, grinning expression on her face, and she steadily continued her yellow-on-orange attack.

“No, there's still an escape route~!” cried Logan, pointing it out by finger to little Onion. For a change, he actually listened, but their hope was short lived. A pink dodgem driven by a really tall young woman came and bashed their whip head on! It was over: Sonya and the assailant with long curly hair had the boys pinned! “No!” moaned Logan despondently, as the yellow and pink cars backed up and bashed into them repeatedly, their riders cackling like a pair of witches.

“Sonya rules!” shouted the victorious engineer, before she was followed up by “And Logan drools!” Damnit, this new girl didn't even know him, but she was still talking crap by name.

“No! No...! No!” Logan was in hell, and Onion was just laughing at him. Bonk bonk bonk, crash crash, ouch. What a great ride...

“Do you wish to engage in combat?”

“No!”

Ten Minutes Later

“Get out of the fucking bumper car, Logan.”

“Bury me here.”

“Get the fuck up, people are waiting and this is embarassing!” Sonya sounded pretty darn miffed.”

“I said bury me here!” Logan yelled, as he reclined on his side over the whole seat.

“I hate you, Logan,” whispered Sonya as she literally dragged his limp form by his hand, first out of the ride car and then out of the ride area. He didn't make it easy for her, either – not a bit. “Acting like a child because you got bumped into really makes me want to keep screwing you.”

“I know. I'm a diplomat, I always know how to act,” replied Logan quietly as he was dragged across boards made for walking. He obviously knew she was being sarcastic, but he outright denied her the satisfaction by pretending not to recognize it.

“Well, get up. That hella cute girl is back, and I think she has ice cream for us.”

'She has ice cream' got him up. About as quickly as you could imagine, he stood up straight on his own two feet and faced the young girl. It was clearly a teenager, but way more ravishing than the likes of Shinji or the Power Rangers. Her skin was rich dark olive color, and she had a winning smile on her face like she was the most adorable goon in town. However, what Logan loved the most was the fact that she had a big honking vanilla-mint swirl ice cream cone, and she was holding it towards him and Sonya. “Hi!” she said, in a bubbly tone. “Peace amends for the double-team?”

“Diplomats don't take bribes,” said Logan, before accepting one and quickly taking a lick of delicious swirly goodness. Soft serve is the best, especially on a summer day at the boardwalk!

“Maybe you should rethink your career path then. I don't think the United Arms wants their people to be bought with mere ice cream,” conjectured the teen.

“Agreed, this guy can't be the best they've got.” Sonya chimed in the way she tended to.

“Well, I am. And I judge that by how familiar you are with me, that you're not just any old teenage girl on vacation.” Logan nodded and crossed his arms on his chest, as Sonya attacked the dessert.
“Uh, no duh?” The pretty teen pointed to her bare midriff, upon which was exposed a glorious and shiny pink gem!

“Oh!” exclaimed Logan, feeling slightly embarassed. “How do I keep missing those? Are you a Rose Quartz like Steven? I thought there were only 3 Crystal Gems!”

“I am Steven!” she confirmed, before adding. “Plus Connie, that is. Steven plus Connie times fusion equals one Stevonnie! Charmed, I'm sure!” She held her hands together near her cheek, acting cute on purpose.

“Oh, I see.” Logan looked to Sonya and then gestured over to Stevonnie wildly. “Are you frigging kidding me? You can fuse with other creatures?” This seemed like something he should have been informed of fairly quickly.

“Eh, yeah. But it kind of has to be someone I'm close with. Fusion is ultimate intimacy between gems. That's what Pearl said, I think.”

“...Connie is a gem too, then?” Logan didn't quite get it, and he had to wrestle the cone out of Sonya's deadly grip. “Gimme that.” He kept eating the creamy goodness and crunching cone as he reached it.

“Well, no. I guess we're living proof that it works with humans.” The teen glanced down at her gem, and softly caressed it.

“I love this town!” yelped Logan, sincerely meaning it. The more he learned, the more he loved the way things were in the world that had been integrated with the Fifth Eruption!

“Do you wish to engage in combat?” asked the voice once again.

“No!” said Stevonnie, looking around for the source of the problem. She found it fairly quickly: it was a humanoid form which quite resembled that skinny, peach pink-haired Crystal Gem known as Pearl. Weirdly, though, it seemed to be a bluish green version of her, with blank white eyes. It barely even seemed to register being told no, and proceeded to walk away from the assembled group. “Sorry, Pearl got poofed and I accidentally activated a copy of her she uses for swordfighting. Oh, poofing is like dying, but you come back in a new physical form. Only Gems can do it.” Explaining without being asked? How nice of her!

“Sounds cool. Is she gonna be okay, though?” questioned Sonya.

“Pearl or Holo-Pearl?”

“Both.”

“Yes, and yes, as long as nobody out here decides to do something dumb like-”

“Challenge accepted!” shouted Holo-Pearl, as Onion hauled ass away from a starting position right in front of the copy. Much as Pearl was known to do, she extracted a thin but lengthy handheld sword from her forehead, and began chasing after the wee kid. “Thrust!” she said, seemingly out for blood!

“Oh jeez!” moaned Logan, realizing that he needed to help and that the Wonderchild was nearby, but not very.

Miraculously, Stevonnie sprang into action wordlessly! Projecting a beautiful spiraly pink metal shield onto her arm, she easily caught up with H-Pearl and slammed into her like she was Captain America and it was time to do the Charging Star attack! This knocked the facsimile off its feet, leaving Onion to escape fairly easily. This would have been a time for celebration, as the fusion had fairly simply seemed to have won the day, but it wasn't going to be so easy.

“Additional challenger acknowledged! Activating additional Holograms!” said the opponent flatly, before standing up. Nearby, additional voices spoke up: “Challenge accepted! Challenge challenge accepted! Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-chall...” etc etc. It was a horrible sound, and it seemed to be exactly what Logan had feared. Numerous additional Holo-Pearls began storming the scene, each with their own blade.

“StevonniecalltheGemsnow!” screamed Logan, as Sonya started backing away from the entire scene.

“We can't! I'll get in crazy trouble if they find out! Go get your robot!” Stevonnie held fast with her shield, as she glanced around the potential battle theater.

Choice Time!

>Fair enough.  Logan asked Stevonnie to hold the fort, and started scrambling towards the storage unit parking lot that his robot was located in.

>Uh, that's not important right now.  If Stevonnie wouldn't call the Gems, Logan would.  This was more their jurisdiction.

>Come up with something better, if you can?

Anything that involves Mic Drops I am all for.

I agree with Vitkitty.