Rules and Sign Ups

I read this a couple hours ago, and have been mulling the entire situation over trying to come up with something to say that doesn't trivialize anyone's feelings or take sides.  To this end, I will note that while I personally have opinions on the subject based on what I've been told and seen, I am trying my best to look through the eyes of everyone involved.  I would tag Yoshi in this but I can't.

Yoshi, I know, has historically and currently struggled with self esteem issues.  I know life has had challenges and ups and downs for him, but in a general sense the guy I have known has always been one who feels things deeply.  Happiness, excitement, pain and depression...  I've seen him throw his whole heart into all of these, and I know he has a tough time often because of it.  In one category, I identify with him because much like Yoshi, I am one who often feels more than I should.  The problem is that when negative emotions start running wild, it's much tougher to come down from them than it is to avoid them in the first place.  I try to do this, but even as recently as yesterday, failed.  It's an ongoing process, and for this reason I get it.  I get the self-blame, and the internalizing of feelings.  While it was Morgan that made the choice in-game, Yoshi feels like it was his mistakes that killed the character.  To a certain extent, that may or may not be true (I am not familiar with the game).  Whether he didn't understand that a boss could be run from, since in many video games that most games are familiar with, once you're in a boss fight you're locked in, is unclear.  Alternatively, it may just be that he was just playing fast and loose at the time, and now feels buyer's remorse for his choices.  I barely understand the game itself, so I can't speak to it.

What I can speak to is that the side of Yoshi we saw today isn't his finest.  It's one that we've seen at other moments and in other contexts on this site, and it's really tough to communicate with.  I have been lucky enough to not have to overcome that gap personally, which I probably would not know how to do.  It would almost be like communicating with myself when I get on a very severe tear, which is also a nightmare.  I don't think, though, that this is behavior befitting a 30 year old man.  To some extent, one must learn to remove themself from a situation (not permanently like you have, Yoshi) and cool down to re-approach with a different, more level headed perspective.  Speculation: I don't even think you hate the new dating sim.  I think you just feel like you've gotten off the rails and don't know how to right the ship appropriately.  But the fact remains that you said some ugly things, and that was quite hurtful of you.  I expect better of you, Yoshi, because I care about you and know that you can be better.  The exaggerated self insulting and "oh im horrible im the worst" is not helpful, my friend.  We will always accept you on this site, just please don't lash out at us.

Crow, as for you personally, I absolutely empathize with your perspective on this.  Yoshi has taken something that I believe is meant to be a fairly light form of entertainment and turned it into a point of division in this community, and taken out his aggressions on you something fierce.  You are not wrong to be mad or offended at the things he said, or the way he is behaving.  You are also not wrong to want to disclude aspects you find distasteful from games.  I know very little about the impact that suicide has had on your life, but taking control of a character instead of allowing their player to go way, way out of line in ways that personally upset you is 100% sound game running regardless of context.  Even though he personally took deep offense to this and felt the need to reframe it ("I'm not being kicked out!  I'M QUITTING!"), that is entirely on him, and not a reaction that anyone should have as it's crude and unfair to the person putting in the work to run a game for pure entertainment value.

However, I would hope that you can at least understand the emotional context behind the things Yoshi has said and done.  I'm not saying let him back into the game if you don't want to, but before we start deciding that we're done with one another and letting these feelings split us apart, I hope we can find some way to reconcile.  This entire situation has its roots in a game being played, and personally, I find that much less meaningful than the bonds made on this website in between the games.  The fact that we're all together on Vitcon (not just us, the whole community), trying to make it work despite every single one of us having our own extensive idiosyncracies is something to be applauded, and something that I think shouldn't be demolished because we get upset and say bad things to each other.  However, if you would like to talk about any of the points you've been personally self-conscious about in private, I would be glad to discuss this there.

Here is the skinny, you two.  The three of us are the oldest members of this site, at 26, 29 and 30.  We're supposed to be the older ones, leading the variably younger members of the community by positive example.  And yet, instead of being like Danny, Jesse and Joey, all three of us have been, to one extent or another, involved in conflict within the past 24 hours.  Can this particular issue be salvaged?  Unclear to me.  But what I do know is that if we can't hug it out and find a way to stick together, we are some pretty lame old guys!

Solutions?  I have none!  I am just a very old, very judgemental man with opinions on things that don't really involve him!