Issue #0 - The Start of Something Phenomenal

Bird habitat

Around 9 o'clock in a few ways

Lacking any way to track the beast properly, Phenomenon bit his lip and decided to just search nearby to where he was. If nothing else, he could at least check out the scattered bird exhibits and envision what it must have been like. So without another word, he scoped out the scene nearby, starting with the vaunted restaurant he saw on the map. It wasn't exactly much, just a single room kitchen, lined with windows all the way around. Training his light around the area, Ajay made the connection that people were meant to buy their food at the structure and take it to the picnic tables located nearby. Speaking of those tables, he found himself silently judging whoever had purchased and placed them there. It wasn't that they had even fallen apart in the intervening use. It was that they were green plastic – both the surface and the seats alike.

Shaking his head and keeping his distaste for the furniture at bay, Phenomenon addressed Warm Sun River Sky. “Checking in as I enter the restaurant,” he began, hoping the connection hadn't glitched out or anything that shitty.

“Copy that, Hero Leader.” The dreadlocked woman sounded like she was trying to sound 'professional', or whatever.

“What? No, I'm Phenomenon.” He had to correct that right off.

“I know, that's your name!”

“Yeah. My superhero name.”

“Right, that's why I called you Hero Leader.”

“I don't follow,” the nurse-hero said after a pause, as he moved from the door frame into the actual kitchen.

“Your name is Phenomenon, so your secret code name for this stuff will be Hero Leader!” She sounded quite proud of the name she'd come up with.

“Sky, my name is still Ajay,” he said as he fiddled with a busted stove, looking for artifacts. “Phenomenon is my special superhero name, I don't need any others.”

“Oh!” As if a lightbulb had just turned on, she elaborated. “I thought you were changing your name from Ajay Jha to Phenomenon. Maybe as the start of the next step of your life!”

“Like when you changed yours to Warm Sun River Sky from-”

“What do you see?” she diverted just in time.

“Dust and basic debris. It's not even that funky, probably because it never even got filled with much food or used to begin with.” He had to get used to analyzing situations, even if this one didn't exactly scream 'Bearman'.

“What's on the menu?” Curiousity was certainly a strong suit of Warm Sun River Sky's.

“Uh, burgers, fries and chicken.” He glanced from the menu out the window and straight at one of the bird exhibits. “They had some serious balls selling bird for people to eat while they looked at birds.” He cracked up at the thought of this – and I mean cracked up, not just a little laugh or two. Full on AHAHAHA type shit.

“I'm glad you find it so funny.” Unlike him, she'd stopped laughing much sooner. The fact that he laughed so long made her chuckle into the phone, though.

“What's also not funny is how there are no clues in here leading to the bear. Wherever he's eating, it's not here.” He stepped out the door, and began to look at the locations preordained for birds. There were some that were composed almost entirely of basic poles – presumably for birds to perch on, and specifically those that had their wings clipped or whatever. Besides the birdstaves (I am onto something with calling perches this, real talk), there were some cages that could probably house some fairly large specimens, and one huge megacage that was the centerpiece of the entry zone. Before checking that out, he decided to make a quick stop in at the gift shop. That may not exactly be the most likely place for a villainous hideout, but maybe that made it a good place to start looking.

Opening up the door, he found that it smelled surprisingly fresh and sterile. It was that plastic scent, like a brand new video game or toy, except mixed with pure abandonment. His eyes scanned the interior, finding no movement or bear tracks, let alone artifacts. He did, however, find row after row of animal-themed merchandise on the shelves. Like many gift shops, there was mostly cheap, touristy nonsense like license plates, keychains, and even a few intact t shirts that had been kept in a glass counter. There was even an array of toy animals for the kiddies, and Phenomenon picked up a plastic black bear that happened to be on display.

“I think I found the bear,” he said sarcastically.

“Really? That was fast! Is he hostile?”

“Nah, he's a plastic toy. I'll have to keep looking for the real one. He probably looks like this guy, though!” He put it down and started walking out and towards the largest cage of the bunch.

“Ooh, thank you for reminding me! I was going to tell you how to take on a black bear. Usually, in nature, they can be forced away. Well, at least with the right equipment or powers like yours. They're more likely to back down from danger and pain than they are to fly into an unquenchable rage like a grizzly bear.” Ah, bear knowledge! Accurate bear knowledge? Unclear. But it sure sounded helpful to Phenomenon.

“How positive can we be that it's a black bear?” A pretty key question.

“Completely positive! California doesn't have a grizzly population or anything much in an ursine flavor that isn't black bears. That encompasses a few, but it's really all you'll find.” Warm Sun River Sky was completely confident in this assessment.

“As far as I know, California doesn't have a population of any type of bear that is a person, either.” Ajay was far more worried than she was.

“Ha! You're right about that!” She conceded this, and yet still didn't sound concerned.

Skipping a beat as he opened up and entered the central cage, he kept absorbing information as quickly and safely as he could. Since there was a little airlock-style entry room with its own extra doorway, he assumed that visitors were meant to be entering, so that they could be amongst a variety of birds. The lack of a floor or attempts at making it look like much of a habitat screamed 'incomplete' to him, and it was even a little melancholy. This place might have been creepy, but he could see that it had been designed as something to entertain people, and it was just discarded. He kept his flashlight moving, but instantly regretted it when he found something he hadn't expected. Atop one of the megacage's perches, a human form was impaled!

“Fuck, no!” He yelped, trying to see what on Earth had happened to it.

“What are you looking at?!” His female ally sounded audibly concerned.

“A body! I think, anyway!” He stared, lighting up the whole of the post. “Wait, no. This isn't a person. It's a mannequin. Painted red and impaled on a perch.”

“Is it a threat?”

“It's a mannequin! What do you think?!” Phenomenon double facepalmed at having to answer that.

“I think you're safe!”

Not spotting any other outliers in the cage, the blue and pink superhero walked out of it. “May as well put some distance between me and that thing. I don't even know what it was about. You know, I was just about to ask if you thought we might have made some wrong assumptions, or if that guy was just delirious from injury, but this is pretty-” Without a moment's pause, he shut up as he saw the lights in the center of the zoo turn on. “Uh, Sky-”

He was cut off again, this time by a nearby speaker that was miraculously still working. “Attention, animal lovers! The animals will be going to sleep soon, so please visit us at our goodnight finale...”

The Story Branches...

...Animals in Space!

...Savannah Tales!

...World of Habitats!

Phenomenon's Choices Also Branch...

This sounded just about the worst. Had he been spotted? Was he being called out? Run rabbit run! Get out of the zoo!

Ah, a challenge! This was much more fun than detective work, and Phenomenon rushed to the amphitheater for the big show! This night was a test of his powers more than anything, and he wanted to use them to overcome whatever challenge he needed to!

Yeah, no. This was obviously one hell of a trap, and he wasn't keen on going in unprepared. He needed to sneak into the ampitheater and see if he could find a way to turn this potential encounter into an ambush of his own. Flip the script, as it were.

Phenomenon decided against his better judgement to call the police, and let them know to head to the abandoned zoo's theater. No need to get physically involved.

Feh, he guessed he'd better go to the Ampitheater, but if he could get the police to come and give him an extra advantage, that'd be ideal. To this end, he decided to keep the bear occupied with conversation if possible. He had to hope they wouldn't consider him a target as well.

You may also take other actions to handle this (specify)

Crow beat me to the right answer 

Invitation Accepted

Phenomenon couldn't believe his luck! A special presentation just for lil' ol' him? He didn't hesitate to take off running toward the center of the zoo with as much speed as he could muster! All thoughts of the creepy display he peeped were long past the excited young man, and that was probably for the better. He didn't need to be jumpscared any more than he already had been. Rather instead, all he had time for on the wide paths was hype – tons of hype! He felt like he could take on a bear! Good thing, really – he'd be a bit beat if he didn't.

“Oy! The lights went on at the theater. Gonna head there and kick some bear ass!” He didn't even bother to his his excitement at the prospect.

“Be careful! You don't know if he's alone!” Warm Sun River Sky chastised, clearly less thrilled about the invitation Ajay had taken freely and unhesitatingly.

“Don't be so concerned! I have the strength of many men! Actually, do be concerned. I love that about you.” He spotted the concrete stairs that customers were meant to climb to reach their seats, and began dashing straight for it.

“In that case, let me inform you that I am very concerned of the possibility of you getting shot. Please don't!”

As he began to climb, he assured her, “Phenomenon can't be taken down so easily by a few bullets. I think.” He was pretty sure of that.

“What about lots of bullets?”

He hadn't exactly tested that at any point, and so dodged the question with more pertinent talk. “'Kay, I'm in. Time to grab the best seat in the house for the freakiest show!” He pumped both his fists in the air and started descending.

“I'll leave the line clear unless you need anything. Good luck,” said Warm Sun River Sky.

Thankful for the lack of distraction, Phenomenon glanced around. As the map suggested, it was a circular, Colosseum style ampitheater, with bleacher style seats typical of those used to seat people for outdoor shows. Aside from a few popcorn stands nearby to the top of the seating, and some tall poles used to broadcast light. As he kept his eyes peeled for any large furry predators, he noticed that the stage was kind of boring – just a flat metal surface, with a tight split in the middle. Once it started opening, he realized why. It was really just the cover for a raising circular platform, upon which were balanced many things. For starters, there was a bunch of orange rock, composing a variety of microterrains ranging from fairly flat to quite sloping. Then there were the plants. Strange, coral-like 'growths' that were obviously composed of false stuff like plastic or metal or plexiglass or whatever crap freaky zoos used. And then the grand purple 'sphere' that was embedded into the 'set' – an interesting prop, which Ajay figured represented a meteorite or something. It was all very elaborate and in better times, he would be thrilled by the view. Instead, he just stared straight at exactly who he'd come to see – a big as hell ursine figure, which had ridden along with the platform. Just around the moment he realized that it had the 'hump' of muscle that identified it as a savage grizzly and not the tolerable black bear he was hoping for, it stood up on its hind legs. Phenomenon realized at that moment that the target was wearing an astronaut uniform with no helmet.

Before the hero could address him, the bear spoke, in a voice both eloquent and smooth. “Hello, friend of animals! I must say, anyone who would come to this home of sadness uninvited must be truly hard up for something! Perhaps some entertainment will satisfy you?” The dangerous and tall beast tilted his head to the side, and appeared to smile – rather intimidatingly so, since some frightening teeth were bared in the process.

“See, I usually love live entertainment even if it's only so-so, but I'm kind of here about this thing I think you did. See, there's a guy at a hospital that seems to think you did something to him.” Thankfully, even though he wasn't a 6'11 behemoth or anything of the sort, Phenomenon did have a commanding and bold voice befitting of a superhero. He projected it as best he could, and hoped it would do the job.

“Oh no. Is this about the arms and legs thing?” The bear groaned after asking.

“Hell yeah this is about the arms and legs thing! Dude, what were you thinking?” The slim and fit machine threw his own arms up in the air, letting them fall.

“I assure you, that was no mere mauling. You see, I am no mere bear! For I am... Ursa Magnificora! There is no greater artiste than I, whether it be performance art or a chance for me to take advantage of a remarkable canvas!” The strange creature held his hands to his chest, before saying more. “In that case, it was both. Do you know, there was actually not very much blood involved. When I took off his leg, which I maintain that I simply had to, I expected a veritable gusher! But no, not enough of that unmistakable flow of red, so then came the other leg.”

“Sounds like an intense experience.” Phenomenon just continued to stare, even as the guy began walking on all four limbs. As he fell to them, the hero happened to notice that it wasn't just regular paws – this bastard had opposable thumbs! What was up with that? “You're really painting quite the vivid picture for me right now!” In response, he began to slowly continue walking toward the stage.

“Oh, believe me, it was. But even though he'd stopped attacking by then, I was impressed that he kept drawing breath. It was quite an epic struggle of man against pain, and so it was that I took it upon myself to add to the drama. Without arms, he'd not be able to drag himself away from the scene. Entirely helpless, and left alone in a cold, unforgiving world. A true human tragedy.” Soon, he and Phenomenon were only a few feet away from one another. “I digress! You were promised Animals in Space, and Animals in Space is what you'll get!” Ursa Magnificora offered a few papers stapled together – the script to the show, according to the text on the front. “You'll be playing the role of the native alien being, and I'll be playing all the other roles!”

The Story Branches...

Oh boy! A part in the big show! Phenomenon threw himself into the part, taking it very seriously.

Fuck that, start kicking ass! Just start swinging and juking and don't stop!

Meh. He was willing to read the lines, but really Phenomenon was just waiting for a good chance to jump the bastard.

Why not try to appeal to Ursa Magnificora's better nature? Maybe he will come peacefully!

Yes that thing

At the Show

Flipping through the pages quick enough to find his lines but not actually process what was read, Phenomenon figured he didn't have much to lose. “Alright. Start anytime you want.” He wasn't looking to be a dick to the guy, but this was only going to go one way.

“Very well!” Tapping something in his fake space suit, Ursa M turned down the lighting in the area. The stage was still fully lit, but the seating was all darkened – a familiar look to most who attend live plays and stuff.

A voice began to play over the sound system – it sounded a little tinny, as if it had deteriorated through disuse or something. “Animals are the best! As you've seen at your visit to the zoo, there are creatures from all around our native planet Earth! But what about the unknown boundaries of outer space? Do other planets have animals? What would they be like? Our story begins in the far off year of two thousand five hundred, when a band of intrepid scientists have just landed on a promising new world! What will they find on this new biosphere? Will it be a planet of mushrooms, algae, or plants? Or will they find what they really seek: ANIMALS! IN! SPACE!”

Speaking into a microphone that was probably attached to him, Ursa began acting – offstage, that is (actually hiding behind a rock, but who's watching?). At least, Ajay was pretty sure he did, because the voice he heard was pretty different. “Copy that, Home Base. We're approaching the planet designated V4 Argonias, and it looks just like we expected it to!”

“Copy that, Space Needle! Feel free to land anytime you want, teehee! I can't wait to see what you big boys uncover!” Yeah, that was Ursa too, in an annoying twee.

“Copy that! Bringin' her in!” As Ursa Magnificora said this, a trapdoor opened up in the rocky surface of the 'planet', and a vintage-style rocket rose out of the understage. Based on the sound effects playing, Phenemenon made the assumption that it was meant to simulate a landing, which was weird since twas actually rising.

“Cadet, let's open the hatch and see what there is to see!”

“Copy that, Cap!” Another new voice, this one equally twee but somehow more like a patronizing version of a young boy instead of a patronizing version of a woman.

A hatch on the side of the blue and white-painted rocket opened up, and Ursa ambled in from behind the prop. “Ah, now that's the stuff! Can you smell the air, Cadet? It's crisper than almost all the oxygen I've had to date!”

“I can't smell anything, Captain!” He literally jumped about a foot to one side before delivering this line, and changed his posture to a lower, more slouching one.

“That's the point! You're from the slum world of Gernoli 383! You've never smelled anything but garbage, nor have you ever seen an animal or vegetable!” As he spoke, he mugged for the 'audience' as if he were trying to look handsome.

“Aw, who needs that stuff, Captain?” Ursa swung a paw as if to 'pshaw' animals and plants.

“Any healthy diet does, my friend! It's a scientific fact that the human body requires meat, and that means animals! There's just stuff in there that we can't get anywhere else! That's why someone who has only eaten processed paste his whole life like you is so scrawny, little buddy!” Ursa patted the air as if he were tapping the younger astronaut's head.

“Gee, animals sound really nice! Can we get some to eat here?” He crossed his eyes, as if he were pretending to be really dumb.

“We just might, Cadet! But animals are good for more than just meat, and I see something coming through the brush up ahead! Let's see what it is...”

“Copy that!” said Ursa as the young dude, approaching the 'forest' of odd, brightly colored blue and orange tube-plants.

Phenomenon realized at that moment that he was supposed to be on stage, and quickly jumped to it in a single bound. He shuffled behind the 'plants', script in hand, before walking through them. Trying to pronounce the alien sounds as best he could, the blue and pink adventurer said, “Gabogo, paradu.” The words came out about as dispassionately as could be, and he didn't exactly do much but stand there.

“What an interesting creature! Is that an animal?” said the 'Cadet'.

“It is! But gosh, he's even smaller than you! Come here, little guy, we won't hurt you!” Ursa's 'inviting' voice left much to be desired.

“Gabogo! Vindono!” Even though the stage directions indicated to adopt a defensive stance, Phenomenon just stared blankly through his mask.

“Why, cadet! I believe this animal can speak! It may be a hitherto unforseen form of life! Not human, but capable of speech! I shall call this alien a...” Holding a 'Eureka' pose, Ursa waited for some awkward moments. “I said, I shall call this alien a...” He kept waiting.

“Oh. Gabogo!” He was meant to interrupt Ursa but hadn't caught on. He was only half paying attention, with the other half going to strategy and scheming.

“Yes, Gabogo! I shall call you a Gabogo! Gabogo, my name is Captain John Eliwood! Can you say that?” His paw moved between the two of them, and he repeated: “John Eliwood” when near himself, and “Gabogo” when nearer to Phenomenon.

“John Eliwood,” said the unamused hero, not even trying to struggle pronouncing it like a more dedicated actor might.

“Yes, that's right. John Eliwood! Captain of the Space Needle! I can tell you're going to be a fine subhuman friend to me!”

“Friend?” said Ajay flatly, thinking of ending the charade and just hitting him without even waiting.

“Yes, friend! Like me and my cadet here!”

Jumping over into position to be the cadet again, Ursa pretended to shake the captain's hand. “See? Friend!”

“Friend.” said Phenomenon once again, before slowly walking back to the fake alien tube-plants and grabbing a large red crystal. “Friend John Eliwood,” he said as lamely as ever while he handed the crystal to Ursa.

Accepting it with both hands, Ursa looked over to the 'Cadet' with a big smile. “You see, Cadet? Animals are great! Now I'll teach you another g-”

What, exactly, was about to be taught was not made clear. Yes, as the bear was mid-sentence, Phenomenon swung for the fences. It was a quick and a mighty punch, and he put his full force into it! Since Ursa Magnificora had the fake crystal in his hands, he was in no position to block the hit, which smashed straight into his face and sent him flying off his feet with a resounding BAM! Spit flew out of his mouth as well, and the prop fell out of the fake astronaut's hands as he landed. Super psyched that his first punch thrown against a villain went so well, Phenomenon actually fist-pumped for a moment or two.

“Bastard! Craven knave!” Ursa shouted angrily, checking his face to ensure he wasn't bleeding or broken. “How dare you attack me when we're in the middle of a performance?”

“Your show sucks and so do you, Ursa. I'm here to beat you, not to be in the worst written play in history!” Ajay felt good trash talking – a bit like a young Wally West, even? In any case, he started really limbering up, doing some last minute limb stretching.

“Take that back!” Ursa said before ROARRRing and smacking the red crystal in front of him with such force that it launched at Phenomenon!

The Story Branches...

Like a dodgeball firing towards him, Pheno caught the crystal. Unlike a dodgeball, he used it to try bashing the living shit out of Ursa Magnificora.

Nah. Phenomenon smacked the crystal away and tried to get Ursa to take a more physical offensive.

Dodging sounded smart, and Ajay did just that. He was plenty agile to avoid the crystal and take cover behind the planet or rocket or something.

Ah, the bear spray! After avoiding the crystal, Phenomenon instantly whipped it out of his suit pocket and went straight for Ursa's face! If he could skip this fight, that'd be ideal.