Post by Bloodmancer on Aug 4, 2015 10:08:55 GMT -5
Okay, this is something I decided to write just for the heck of it. It was a spontaneous write, but I had a little more fun than I had expected to writing it. I plan to write more about "Bloodmancer" the character later. Tell me what you think, and any explosive constructive criticism is welcome!
=====
On such a fine day, a man unlike any walked down the semi-busy street. No one noticed this man, no one payed any attention. If this man had any sort of perception, he would have noticed this and realized that he really liked it this way. But he did not.
Partially because this particular being was completely and utterly insane.
Partially, because this man had two paradoxical ailments. The first, being that he was completely color blind and could see not a single color of the spectrum if he wanted to or not. The second ailment being that he was irrationally and extremely chromophobic. Now, what is 'Chromophobic'? one might ask. I'll tell you, if you really must know.
Chromophobic is the the fear of colors. You heard me right. The fear of colors. Now one might ask, how can someone who is colorblind be afraid of colors. That question I can not answer.
Now, as for his appearance he was clad in black tattered robes, with crimson irises and extremely pale skin, and with a massive weapon strapped to his back, with an ornately carved battle-axe blade which appeared to be composed of black flesh like materiel on one side of the handle, and a flat, hammer like end on the other side, which he had called a Sledge Axe.
Then the man heard and voice as strange as his own ring out through the air, seemingly coming from everywhere.
You have been chosen by The Overseer to fight in the Crucible arena!
"I CAN'T REALLY MANCE BLOO-" But before Bloodmancer could finish, he disappeared in a flash of light.
========
Now, Bloodmancer found himself in an old dilapidated arena, many of the walls and stands were crumbling, and invisible crowds could be heard cheering.
Welcome to the Crucible Arena! This is were the strong are tested and the wea-
"Oh no! I forgot my pencil! I'm not ready for the test!" Bloodmancer sobbed.
Please let me finish! Welcome to the crucible arena were the strong are tested and the weak are culled! Your first opponent will be a Level -3 blue blob!
"Wait did you say... BLUE!" At that, Bloodmancer began to run around in circles, screaming hysterically and flailing his arms. He didn't even notice that he had crushed a small blue blob to... something. After a few minutes of this, Bloodmancer attempted to run out of the Arena. As soon as Bloodmancer stepped into the entrance of the arena. He stood straight up, stopped screaming and moving, his pupils shrunk to tiny pinpoints, before saying, in one the world's most mechanical and machine like voices
"I cannot leave until my objective is complete."
Then he turned around and walked stiffly straight into the center arena.
You could actually leave at any time... Anyway, since you've defeated your first opponent, you will now be given another one... let's see.. wrong card... nope... Ah ha! A level 10 golem made entirely out of red crystals!
"Red crystals! AHHHHHH!" The time, Bloodmancer began grabbed his sledge axe and began swinging it around violently!
"KILL ALL COLORS!"
Bloodmancer then proceed to toss his axe into he air, and run screaming madly at the golem. He ran head first into the golem, and then proceeded to run head first into the wall behind the golem, leaving a hole in the shape of his flailing body in the golem.
Then, bloodmancer crumpled to the ground holding his crotch while screaming, "LIVERS AND KIDNEY STONES! OH MAMMA MIA I GOT KICKED IN MY LOWER CONES!"
I'm assuming that by 'lower cones' you mean your loins? Wait a second, how did no other part of your body get hurt? Never mind. This next enemy will test your magical prowess.
With that, a necromancer appeared on the other side of the arena. The necromancer began to summon skeletons, zombies and other undead atrocities to help him fight. Meanwhile, bloodmancer stood in one spot, staring at the ground with a very serious look on his face. After a few minutes, the necromancer had finished summoning his rotting minions, while Bloodmancer was still staring at the ground and had seemingly done nothing.
"Attack!" The necromancer yelled. His ghouls roared in reply and charged at Bloodmancer, who just a few seconds later looked up with a massive smile plastered on his face and screamed at the top of his lungs, "I HACKED AN AIRPLANE!"
I don't see any airplanes around here. Hey, what's that in the sky...
And then, for no apparent reason, over a million double-A batteries began to rain from the cloudless atmosphere overhead.
======
The entire arena was filled with Double-A batteries, Bloodmancer stood on top of the pile, and struck a victorious pose with his hands on his hips and a massive smile on his face. Somewhere, one necromancer and and a pile of corpses had been crushed and drowned in a sea of batteries.
He then pulled out an old TV remote, which just happened to need two new Double-A batteries, He plucked two Double-A batteries off the top of the pile and then swallowed both batteries and the remote simultaneously.
The Overseer, sounding somewhat annoyed, snapped his fingers and all of the batteries disappeared.
Your final opponent will be here shortly... I don't think I can handle you for much longer.
Suddenly, a large golden dragon slammed into the ground, roaring angrily. Bloodmancer, of course, was completely unfazed. "Is this my new pet! I love big lizards!"
The Overseer faced palm.
No. This is the Golden dragon. It is your last adversary. Once you defeat this creature, you can take your prize and get out of here.
"How many tickets does the prize cost?!? Wait a second... Golden... that's a color..."
Oh god...
Suddenly a green orb like object that overseer instantly recognized as a grenade materialized in Bloodmancer's hand.
Where did that come from?
Suddenly, Bloodmancer began sing a strange tune, while tossing grenade after grenade into the air. His voice was shaky, and his singing was horrendous, but his tune got the message across.
"Sometimes I throw my grenades in the air saying Hayo!
OH GOD WHERE'D THE PIN GO!?!?"
Multiple explosions began to ring out across the arena, sending dirt and stone everywhere. the dragon jumped into the air, scared by the sudden explosions of light and noise. One grenade landed right in the dragon's nose. It gave a curious grunt before it's right nostril was obliterated by the blast.
The dragon bellowed in agony before sending jets of fire all over the place. One consumed Bloodmancer’s arm, burning and melting off the skin, all the way down to the bone.
Bloodmancer looked down at his arm his eye’s widened in surprise, before narrowing in rage, and his irises becoming a deeper shade of crimson than before.
“YOU GAVE ME A BOO-BOO.”
That's kind of an understatement.
Bloodmancer roared in rage before the dragon bent down and swallowed him whole.
Glad I don’t have to deal with that guy anymo-
The overseer was cut off as the dragon cried out in pain, before a massive sledge-axe cut out of it’s chest. A moment later, Bloodmancer jumped out of the dragon’s chest, The blade embedded in a massive still-beating heart that had been disconnected from it’s host. The dragon gave a weak moan before it collapsed onto the ground, dead.
“BLOOD TASTES YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!” Bloodmancer screamed.
Fine, here’s your prize, just get out of my sight!
A bag of gold appeared in Bloodmancer’s other hand before he disappeared.
=====
A few moment’s later bloodmancer right in the middle of a fortress’s treasure vault. The guard looked at him incredulously before he said.
“There's an intruder trying to steal our gold!”
“It got a prize!” Bloodmancer said jumping up and down gleefully while holding a the bag of gold up for all to see. “Wait a moment… gold.. that’s a color.”
That fortress was never heard from again.
=====
On such a fine day, a man unlike any walked down the semi-busy street. No one noticed this man, no one payed any attention. If this man had any sort of perception, he would have noticed this and realized that he really liked it this way. But he did not.
Partially because this particular being was completely and utterly insane.
Partially, because this man had two paradoxical ailments. The first, being that he was completely color blind and could see not a single color of the spectrum if he wanted to or not. The second ailment being that he was irrationally and extremely chromophobic. Now, what is 'Chromophobic'? one might ask. I'll tell you, if you really must know.
Chromophobic is the the fear of colors. You heard me right. The fear of colors. Now one might ask, how can someone who is colorblind be afraid of colors. That question I can not answer.
Now, as for his appearance he was clad in black tattered robes, with crimson irises and extremely pale skin, and with a massive weapon strapped to his back, with an ornately carved battle-axe blade which appeared to be composed of black flesh like materiel on one side of the handle, and a flat, hammer like end on the other side, which he had called a Sledge Axe.
Then the man heard and voice as strange as his own ring out through the air, seemingly coming from everywhere.
You have been chosen by The Overseer to fight in the Crucible arena!
"I CAN'T REALLY MANCE BLOO-" But before Bloodmancer could finish, he disappeared in a flash of light.
========
Now, Bloodmancer found himself in an old dilapidated arena, many of the walls and stands were crumbling, and invisible crowds could be heard cheering.
Welcome to the Crucible Arena! This is were the strong are tested and the wea-
"Oh no! I forgot my pencil! I'm not ready for the test!" Bloodmancer sobbed.
Please let me finish! Welcome to the crucible arena were the strong are tested and the weak are culled! Your first opponent will be a Level -3 blue blob!
"Wait did you say... BLUE!" At that, Bloodmancer began to run around in circles, screaming hysterically and flailing his arms. He didn't even notice that he had crushed a small blue blob to... something. After a few minutes of this, Bloodmancer attempted to run out of the Arena. As soon as Bloodmancer stepped into the entrance of the arena. He stood straight up, stopped screaming and moving, his pupils shrunk to tiny pinpoints, before saying, in one the world's most mechanical and machine like voices
"I cannot leave until my objective is complete."
Then he turned around and walked stiffly straight into the center arena.
You could actually leave at any time... Anyway, since you've defeated your first opponent, you will now be given another one... let's see.. wrong card... nope... Ah ha! A level 10 golem made entirely out of red crystals!
"Red crystals! AHHHHHH!" The time, Bloodmancer began grabbed his sledge axe and began swinging it around violently!
"KILL ALL COLORS!"
Bloodmancer then proceed to toss his axe into he air, and run screaming madly at the golem. He ran head first into the golem, and then proceeded to run head first into the wall behind the golem, leaving a hole in the shape of his flailing body in the golem.
Then, bloodmancer crumpled to the ground holding his crotch while screaming, "LIVERS AND KIDNEY STONES! OH MAMMA MIA I GOT KICKED IN MY LOWER CONES!"
I'm assuming that by 'lower cones' you mean your loins? Wait a second, how did no other part of your body get hurt? Never mind. This next enemy will test your magical prowess.
With that, a necromancer appeared on the other side of the arena. The necromancer began to summon skeletons, zombies and other undead atrocities to help him fight. Meanwhile, bloodmancer stood in one spot, staring at the ground with a very serious look on his face. After a few minutes, the necromancer had finished summoning his rotting minions, while Bloodmancer was still staring at the ground and had seemingly done nothing.
"Attack!" The necromancer yelled. His ghouls roared in reply and charged at Bloodmancer, who just a few seconds later looked up with a massive smile plastered on his face and screamed at the top of his lungs, "I HACKED AN AIRPLANE!"
I don't see any airplanes around here. Hey, what's that in the sky...
And then, for no apparent reason, over a million double-A batteries began to rain from the cloudless atmosphere overhead.
======
The entire arena was filled with Double-A batteries, Bloodmancer stood on top of the pile, and struck a victorious pose with his hands on his hips and a massive smile on his face. Somewhere, one necromancer and and a pile of corpses had been crushed and drowned in a sea of batteries.
He then pulled out an old TV remote, which just happened to need two new Double-A batteries, He plucked two Double-A batteries off the top of the pile and then swallowed both batteries and the remote simultaneously.
The Overseer, sounding somewhat annoyed, snapped his fingers and all of the batteries disappeared.
Your final opponent will be here shortly... I don't think I can handle you for much longer.
Suddenly, a large golden dragon slammed into the ground, roaring angrily. Bloodmancer, of course, was completely unfazed. "Is this my new pet! I love big lizards!"
The Overseer faced palm.
No. This is the Golden dragon. It is your last adversary. Once you defeat this creature, you can take your prize and get out of here.
"How many tickets does the prize cost?!? Wait a second... Golden... that's a color..."
Oh god...
Suddenly a green orb like object that overseer instantly recognized as a grenade materialized in Bloodmancer's hand.
Where did that come from?
Suddenly, Bloodmancer began sing a strange tune, while tossing grenade after grenade into the air. His voice was shaky, and his singing was horrendous, but his tune got the message across.
"Sometimes I throw my grenades in the air saying Hayo!
OH GOD WHERE'D THE PIN GO!?!?"
Multiple explosions began to ring out across the arena, sending dirt and stone everywhere. the dragon jumped into the air, scared by the sudden explosions of light and noise. One grenade landed right in the dragon's nose. It gave a curious grunt before it's right nostril was obliterated by the blast.
The dragon bellowed in agony before sending jets of fire all over the place. One consumed Bloodmancer’s arm, burning and melting off the skin, all the way down to the bone.
Bloodmancer looked down at his arm his eye’s widened in surprise, before narrowing in rage, and his irises becoming a deeper shade of crimson than before.
“YOU GAVE ME A BOO-BOO.”
That's kind of an understatement.
Bloodmancer roared in rage before the dragon bent down and swallowed him whole.
Glad I don’t have to deal with that guy anymo-
The overseer was cut off as the dragon cried out in pain, before a massive sledge-axe cut out of it’s chest. A moment later, Bloodmancer jumped out of the dragon’s chest, The blade embedded in a massive still-beating heart that had been disconnected from it’s host. The dragon gave a weak moan before it collapsed onto the ground, dead.
“BLOOD TASTES YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!” Bloodmancer screamed.
Fine, here’s your prize, just get out of my sight!
A bag of gold appeared in Bloodmancer’s other hand before he disappeared.
=====
A few moment’s later bloodmancer right in the middle of a fortress’s treasure vault. The guard looked at him incredulously before he said.
“There's an intruder trying to steal our gold!”
“It got a prize!” Bloodmancer said jumping up and down gleefully while holding a the bag of gold up for all to see. “Wait a moment… gold.. that’s a color.”
That fortress was never heard from again.
