Session 0

You try to twirl and stumble over the stupid restraints back on your ankles again because this asshole won't stop trying to arrest you.  You adjust your dance to use a shorter step and feel the magic flowing through you.  The inquisitor draws closer, and you open your mouth.  A swarm of bees start to fly out.  The inquisitor slows her approach for a moment.

The druid starts struggling in her restraints.  She begins to move as if to cast a spell, moving her hands in practiced motions.  And then her foot slips out from underneath her and she starts to fall forward.  Her spell falters in the middle of beginning to manifest as her chanting gives way to a small squeak.  The chains holding her up shift on the crane, wrenching her arms and legs behind her and leaving her hanging parallel to the ground, dangling helplessly a few feet over the dock.  The force of the fall leaves her swinging slightly on the end of the chains.

The inquisitor flips her cape to keep the advancing swarm at bay for a moment, then opens her mouth.  Flames start to leap from her lips, billowing out in a cone in front of her.  You leap in front of the elf and rush to rip a portion of the river out as a shield.  The barrier bursts into steam that washes over you instead.  Painful, but better than fire.  Somewhat.  The remains of the swarm fall to the ground as a cloud of embers...

But you forced her to cast a spell.  That should have worked.  You turn to catch the elf, but... the chains are still there.  That... should have worked...  How did that not work?  Is this spell really so powerful she doesn't even have to focus on it?  The fetters on your ankles rattle quietly as you adjust for her next attack, and you realize that a restraint spell that requires constant attention wouldn't be very useful.  And that inquisitors are far, far more dangerous than you thought.  And when you realized she was a lot stronger than you, you might have still been underestimating her...

She raises her sword to the sky, and you can feel power gathering around her.  "Assaulting an official, resisting arrest, not to mention trying to deceive me...  I was willing to give you an opportunity to prove your innocence before, if you could prove yourselves innocent of the first murder.  But I can no longer turn a blind eye to this behavior, nor do you have my trust.  Do not bother surrendering.  I'm laying you on your asses and dragging you back in chains.  Both of you, then the other two."  A pale barrier starts to glow around her, with a red glow forming on her sword.

Ah, that's not great.  It's really not.  You really should just forget the elf and run.  It's probably your last chance.  It might be too late already.

Your magic isn't going to hold out forever, and your elf friend is too busy swinging to really help.  You don't know that you can fend her off for long, and you doubt the crossbowman is coming back.  The strix might, but...  Wait, swinging?  That's right...  She's chained to a crane.  Maybe you can use that.  There should be enough slack in her chains to stand her up again, or you could try just... destroying the thing she's bound to.  Or...

(A) "OK, wait, we surrender for real this time."
(B) "OK, wait, we surrender for real this time." (lie)
(C) Tackle attack!
(D) Blast her with a fire spell!
(E) Draw your sword
(F) Grab the elf and swing her into the inquisitor as hard as possible
(G) Time to run!  She just said Elfy will be fine.
(H) Try to slip away long enough to climb up to the crane?  It's for unloading ships, you should be able to drop her into the river.  And she should be fine for a few seconds while the inquisitor restrains her properly.

All caught up... What do you mean it's not assaulting an official? Of course it is. And of course we've been deceitful, we accepted her cape and then pointlessly tried to attack her.

Swinging the Elf like a stupid beyblade is not going to do anything. It's not. At all. I guess it might amuse her. Ya'll still haven't realized that fighting IS the death flag. A level 1-3 small party cannot, in any way, beat a level 10+ Inquisitor. This has not changed just because this is a CYOA. The only actual options are surrender, or run, and she's now said peaceful surrender is no longer an option.

You know who HASN'T actually done any proper fighting against the Inquisitor? The elf. Who will be fine. Leaving her behind isn't leaving her to die, she's not the one on trial for murder. Worst she'd get is a cell back in the prison. And while the Inquisitor hunts us down, our other allies could potentially free her. Or we could come back and free her later. Regardless she would be fine.

G. Do what we should have done ages ago and just run for the water.

You feel a tinge of guilt.  Just a tinge.  This idea's also kinda fun.  And spiteful towards the inquisitor.  And she's an elf, it's fine.  You grab her by one of her ankles.  "I have an idea..." you mutter.  "I mean, it's not a good idea.  And it probably won't work!  And if it doesn't you'll need to wait in jail for a bit until we can break you out.  But you'll be fine if that happens, just sit quietly and wait for us, 'K?"

"U-um...?" the elf whines.

"OK, deep breath...!"  You wind her back and send her spiraling and spinning towards the inquisitor.

"Wha-"  The elf cuts the inquisitor off as she slams into her.  You think you see some of the elf's chains tangling up around the inquisitor, too.  Great!  You don't stop to admire your work.  You're already turned around and running towards the water.

You take three steps, forget about the fetters on your ankles AGAIN, and fall on your face.  You start picking yourself up just in time to see the inquisitor casting a spell.  Another set of those force-based restraints come flying down from the crane, snaking their way towards your wrists and ankles.  Ah, she wants to hang you up next to your friend.  How thoughtful.

You roll and throw yourself back, one of the manacles brushing against your wrist and snapping shut just short of grabbing you.  You don't bother trying to stand, crawl-squirming to the edge of the river and rolling in.  As you fall, nearly to refuge, one of the restraints latches on to your ankle.  You feel it lock and stop your fall, then its mate grabs your other ankle.  And one of your wrists, and... your other wrist.  As the chains start dragging you away from the water, inches from your face, you feel like a fish being reeled in.

And you manage to twist enough to summon up a bit of magic, changing back into a puddle of mud.  Instead of gracefully diving into the water, you splat in as a gross pile of muck and sink under the surface.  Not pretty, but it got those restraints off - including those pesky fetters.  You reform from mud into your proper self, spread your fins, and let the flow of the river ripple over you for a moment.  Then you dive deep.

You pop out a short distance away, in the shadow of a boat bobbing quietly in the water.  Your pale-blue skin and hair are great camouflage in clear water.  This is not the cleanest water... but in the gloom and shadow you feel safe enough to peek out and check on things.

The inquisitor seems to be in a bad mood for some reason.  She's pulling a seemingly endless length of rope from her belt... and hogtying the elf.  Naturally.  Just to be sure she doesn't get away if the force chains broke.  The inquisitor finishes and points at the crane.  It starts winding in and the elf shoots halfway up the building with a squeak.  There she dangles, thrashing and swaying.

"You stay there and don't cause any more trouble until I get back," the inquisitor demands.  She walks over to where you fell into the water and glares down.  More flames come billowing steadily out of her mouth as she seethes silently.  Ah...  Light.  That's not great.  She might spot you in the shadows.  A pair of leathery wings erupt from her back.  If you're still, maybe she'll fly off before.  She looks from the water, over to a large, human-sized sewer pipe.  The grating has been removed.  She peers into the sewer, then looks back into the water.  You can tell she's trying to decide which way she thinks you went.

(A) Stay very, very still
(B) Slip under the water and start swimming away, quickly
(C) Slip under the water and swim away, slowly and carefully
(D) She's standing on the edge and wearing armor, try to yoink her into the water where you have the advantage
(E) Toss a coin into the sewer entrance
(F) Toss a fireball at the crane then break for it
(G) Taunt the inquisitor

Agreed, no reason to go back to fighting again now and misdirection is too risky. C.

You let yourself sink just a little bit, dipping under the water and letting the water's flow grab you.  You start drifting slowly downstream, motionless, quiet.

You can barely see what's going on in the surface.  But the brilliant lights are not exactly subtle.  The inquisitor disappears into a giant fireball.  What emerges... is something very distinctly not human.  Which isn't terribly surprising, given the whole 'wings' and 'firebreathing' things.  What is surprising is when a giant leg slams into the water just ahead of you.  And another.  And a thrashing tail.  A large red dragon now blocks your path, peering angrily into the water.

Ah, that's not good...  It's not good, not good, not good.  Not good at all!  Really, truly, completely not good.  Why does this lady have such a big problem with you?  Why did she have to be an inquisitor and a dragon?  What horrific karma did you sew to deserve all this?  Maybe you did do all those bad things.

Fortunately, she doesn't seem to actually see you.  She's trying very, very hard, though.  And her vantage point gives her a better view than up on those docks...

You very quietly let yourself drift close to her, moving as little as possible to weave through her legs and under her belly.  You fight the urge to fuck with her and give it a good rub.  You fight it hard.  And make a note to find a different victim later.  The tail almost hits you as it probes around the water.  You're terrified she'll feel it if you adjust yourself too much, but you risk shifting just enough to avoid a crash.  Because she'd definitely feel that.

You manage to sneak past.  Barely.  As soon as you feel confident, you break into a full-speed swim, only stopping when you spot a familiar figure waiting near the edge of the water.  A strix - your strix.  She glares at you as you poke your head out of the water.  "Where's the elf?" she demands.

"Well...  Last I saw she was tied up from a building..." you admit.

"Captured, then.  Hrm."  The strix clacks her teeth.  "Come on."

She leads you through the city, down some back alleys, carefully avoiding guards and the occasional pass by a red dragon overhead.  At one point you think she spotted you, but then she darts past and dives at something in the distance.  Good.

Before long, you arrive at a small set of cellar doors hidden behind a bin of garbage.  A cart with no horses blocks the front entrance to this alley.  Without the strix guiding you, you'd never have noticed it.  Once you slip in and close the doors behind you, you feel much, much safer.  And the strix' dog comes running to greet her, shoving past you to jump and hug her.

The merchant is waiting at the bottom of the stairs in a room dimly lit by a small candle.  A few bedrolls, some crates...  Not a lot of space to move around in.  You spot a ladder and a trapdoor, probably leading up to some kind of store.  You didn't go around the front when you came in, so it's hard to say.  But what you can say is that this place is surprisingly well-warded.  Even an inquisitor would have a hard time finding you here.  Which is fortunate, considering who is chasing you.

The merchant barely looks up at you as you come in.  He's sitting on a crate and sharpening a large dagger.  He slips it into his boot and crosses his arms.  "Um...  Just you two?"

"Yeah," the strix says.

"...That's no good.  Is she OK?"

"Well...  She's not dead or anything," you say.  "But I imagine she'll be pretty sore in the morning.  And embarrassed.  And, uh... generally not happy."  You frown.  "Maybe even a bit mad."

"She knew what she was doing."  The strix manages to pull her dog off of her.  "She did volunteer for the most dangerous part of the plan."

The merchant sighs.  "But now what...?"  He takes out a small booklet.  "I've done some research.  There's - supposedly - a witch coven hiding out in the
sewers carrying out human sacrifice for some nefarious purposes."

"Fun," you say.

The merchant smiles.  "I wouldn't joke about that, considering they already want to clap you in irons."

"Fair."

"So that's who they think took our missing knight...  But there's also a cult or something?  It's a little less clear."  The merchant flips through his book with a frown.  "What to do, what to do..."

(A) Jail break!  Jail break!  Jail break!
(B) Go investigate the sewers for a coven, maybe a fellow witch will have better luck
(C) Maybe we should look into this cult first
(D) Could those other adventurers give us any leads?
(E) Probably best to lay low for a few days
(F) Let's check the scene of the crime, maybe we'll find something they missed
(G) Forget this adventuring stuff, I want to work in the shop upstairs instead

E. And have our companions do C while we do E. The Inquisitor's a fucking red dragon. And an angry one. Now's not the time for risks. Now's the time to lay low and do some investigating.

"For now..."  You trail off and sigh.  "That inquisitor has way too much of a rage-boner for me."

"A what?" the strix asks.

"She really, really wants to tie me up," you clarify.

"She wants to arrest you," the merchant insists.  Spoilsport.

"Regardless, she probably has some way to track me.  She found me without the slightest bit of trouble before.  I figure the only thing stopping her right now is all these wards.  Also, I kinda stand out.  And my disguise magic isn't great.  So... I'm more of a liability than anything right now.  I'll sit tight in here for a bit and let you two work."

The strix grunts.  "Fine."

"This isn't exactly my area of expertise..." the merchant says.  "But I'll see what I can do."

"To start...  You should ignore the witches and focus on the cult instead."

---

You are a pixie.  You're really good at punching things.  But you aren't punching things right now.  It's kinda sad, really.  You're sitting on outside of one of the smaller churches on the edge of town right now.  This is where your coin thingy and the bard's tracking spell whatsit said the dwarf is.  And the others.  The ones you think are cultists!  But they slipped in before you could confront them.  And now you're staring at a church.  Two stories, kind of U-shaped with the main door set back a bit.  Why?  You don't know.  Human architecture is weird.  You never understood why they can't just let perfectly good nature-shaped stuff work.  Maybe it has to do with those two big bells in the tower thingies.  What were you doing?  Oh, right.  Spying.

"Now, how to get in..." the bard is whispering to herself.

"Doesn't look too hard to sneak in," the rogue says.

"Why sneak?  Smash," the barbarian says.

"Yes, I'm sure the two of you have brilliant plans, but maybe a bit of tact is in order," the bard says.  "Cults can only grow with new recruits, you know."

"This sounds like a bad plan waiting to happen," the rogue says.

"Maybe!" the bard agrees.  "But there's less risk to the group, and less chance they'll try to flee even if things go wrong.  Plus, I'd love to try out my new outfit..."

"Hrmph.  Cowards.  They need face me!" the barbarian growls.  "Challenge them!"

"Now, now.  Calm down.  I'm sure the most level-headed member of our group will agree with me?"

She turns to you, and the others look to you for your opinion, as well.

(A) Send the half-elf bard in to pretend to be a new recruit
(B) Have the half-orc barbarian call out a challenge
(C) Have the drow rogue sneak in a window
(D) Fly up and punch the bells a lot
(E) Screw it, kick in the door as a group
(F) Shhhhh, keep quiet and watch more